Friday, December 31, 2010
I've been looking forward for the break, I had so many things planned.
I had planned to work in the garden. The rainy season has made the weeds grow faster.
I also planned to clear up some long abandon clutter in my closet.
Somehow the plan did not materialize.
I've been consulting my teacher in my attempt of figuring out some long unresolved issues.
As usual my teacher maintained the same advice that she had always given me. "Be watchful of your heart, any wrong intention, your heart and your soul suffer the consequence, you need to cleanse your heart".
I know that. I do.
And I've been reading.
One of the books that I read is a memoir. The story of a convict who had to spend a year in prison for bank fraud. Nothing quite unusual, except that the prison shared buildings with a leprosaruim, a hospital that serve as the home for leprosy patients.
Reading the book made me realized that we are always afraid of a physical disease because not only that it is painful, it also bring about some undesired change in our physical look. A disease make us look pale, weak, and in the worst case, disfigured limbs. It is all the opposite of anything attractive. We are so afraid of losing our physical beauty.
We tried to avoid any disease by leading a healthy life style. We keep our body, our homes clean. We shun away from any infectious environment.
But we forgot about our deeds. Because, unlike any disease, our deeds, good or bad, will not have any visible effect on our look. Our physical beauty remain intact even after committing an ugly sinful act.
We always forget about our soul. Our soul suffers with every sin we committed, our soul disfigured.
Upon finishing the book, I felt so ashamed.
The weeds in my garden are not as bad as the weeds in my heart. The clutter in my closet is not as damaging as my cluttered mind. The anger, hatred and pride that continue lurking in my heart and mind had definitely disfigured my soul. My poor soul is suffering.
I don't have any disfigured limbs, Alhamdulillah... but only He knows how disfigured my soul is. And it will be exposed on the day of judgement.
I desperately need forgiveness from Him, Al Ghaffar.
And I need to forgive.
Laailaaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zoolimiin.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Last night, while blog walking I stumbled upon the news.
Mas Afzal is no longer with us. He has returned to HIM, The Most Merciful.
I never knew him personally, but his writings are so dear to me.
I felt like I've lost a brother.
After my previous posting, I was thinking that I want to write something funny or cheerful in my next post. But no...it was not meant to be.
My deepest condolence to his family and loved ones.
May he rest in peace among the faithful believers.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
It was my final semester as an undergraduate.
Canadian winter is long and cold. And my last winter there was especially 'long and cold', not because the temperature was colder than usual, but rather it was my heart that was cold.
That's my only motivation. Nothing else.
Yes, how true that is. The Quran says that one of the greetings to the people of paradise upon entering the blissfull abode would be:
Saturday, December 11, 2010
We've never been to IJN before.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
And the Chilean president Sebastian Pinera said that, "Chile is not the same country that it was 69 days ago,"
An excerpt from one of the news website graphically describe the situation at the end of the rescue:
01.53am: He's out! Mr Urzua, the last of Los 33, has been brought up into the fresh night air. Jubilant celebrations erupt across Camp Hope and the country as the Phoenix 2 capsule emerges to screams, cheers and euphoria from the waiting crowd. One thousand balloons are released into the night sky as Chile's national anthem plays. Flags are waving furiously, not a dry eye at the San Jose mine.
Allah is Most Merciful. His mercy knows no boundaries.
One of the miners confessed that he has never prayed before in his life, but he learned to pray in the darkness of the mine, as there's no one else he could turn to during those helpless moments. I believe that he had prayed sincerely to the One God.
Life is never the same again for them.
The miners had found the light at the end of the tunnel,literally. They had been liberated.
I hope and pray that one day, they will find the true light that will guide them in the darkness of life.
I pray that after sincerely praying to the One God, one day they will find the one way of life chosen by the One God, Allah, our Merciful Creator. The One who had saved them from the darkness of the mine.
I hope they will find the light of Islam.
Only with Islam would they be truly liberated.
Islam is the truth and only the truth can set them free.
".....This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your way of life ....."
(Al Maidah: 3)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Nun. By the pen, and what they inscribe..
Life is short. When I leave this world, not many people would still remember me. And after a few years, those who knew me would have died too and no one alive in this world would have any memory of me.
My concern is not about weather my life would be remembered or forgotten.
My concern is about making my life meaningful.
There are people whose legacy still remain long after they died.
I have always been envious of some people who have been blessed with writing skill. The books they wrote remain in circulation, read by generations. They are still teaching others, through their writing, long after they have gone physically.
These pious scholars continue to reap the reward from their graves.
I decided to write this blog after contemplating for a long time on the pros and cons. I am not a trained writer, neither a skilled one. My English is flawed, my Malay is imperfect. But I believe a good writer do not simply rely on flawless grammar.
Those pious writers were known to seek guidance from Him, Al Hadi, The One who Guide, before they wrote their books. Hence, the books were not just a mere reading material that we read for leisure. The books became sources of strength and motivation, the words became alive guiding the readers to right path in life.
When I decided to write this blog, it wasn't just about sharing my thoughts. It was part of my effort to emulate these exceptional writers albeit in a very small scale.
I met my teacher yesterday and I was reminded yet again about the importance of sincere heart. It all begins from the heart.
Any action should come from sincere heart.
Alhamdulillah... Now I understand that those writers did not write in a confined language, be it Arabic, English or Malay. The books they wrote could have been translated to several other languages, and yet the beauty and appeal remains.
Their writings came from pure sincere heart, using the universal language.
To all my readers,
Thank you for reading. I hope that you have found some small minuscule benefit in my writing. I am fully aware that I am accountable for all the words and sentences that I wrote. I could be rewarded or punished for my writing.
My writing could have given you positive influence. But, may Allah forgive me if it had given you a negative one.
All the good writings were blessed inspiration from Him.
The mistakes and errors are solely mine.
As the month of Syawal nearing the end, I hope it's still not too late for me to wish all of you Eid Mubarak. And most importantly, I hereby seek your forgiveness for all the shortcomings in my writing.
Thank you every one.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Bulan suci yang penuh barakah ini akan berakhir tidak lama lagi. Pada bulan ini, Dia Yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang menurunkan rahmatNya, menutup pintu nerakaNya, membuka pintu syurgaNya.
Rahmat yang tidak terlihat oleh mata kasar manusia, namun bagi orang-orang soleh yang jernih hatinya, mereka pasti mampu melihat keindahan dan merasai kemanisan beramal di setiap detik yang berlalu.
Mereka yang hatinya sentiasa tulus dan jiwanya sentiasa merindukan Penciptanya pasti begitu bahagia ketika rukuk dan sujud di malam-malam hari, menitiskan airmata keinsafan, menadah tangan memohon keampunan dan mengharapkan agar taubat diterima, agar terselamat dari tipuan dunia.
Alangkah bertuahnya mereka itu.
Semakin hari, hatinya semakin tunduk, jiwanya semakin kental.
Siapakah mereka itu...di manakah mereka..?
Wajah mereka tentunya bercahaya.
Tuturkatanya pasti menyentuh jiwa.
Namun, sesuatu yang indah dan berharga seringkalinya tersembunyi.
Tidak terlihat oleh manusia, tidak mampu makhluk dunia mengenali mereka, hanya makhluk di langit yang tahu.
Merekalah yang akan meratapi pemergian ramadhan di ambang syawal nanti.
Airmata mereka bercucuran disetiap laungan takbir hari raya, bukan kerana merindukan keluarga dan sanak saudara yang jauh. Bahkan mereka menangisi pemergian ramadhan yang sangat dicintai, ramadhan yang semakin jauh pergi.
Mereka menyambut syawal dengan kebimbangan di hati, khuatir dengan cabaran dan dugaan yang mendatang.
Mereka ini mempunyai gelaran augerah dariNya.
Di hujung ramadhan mereka begitu rindu untuk pulang, ke kampung halaman yang telah disediakan olehNya.
Merekalah para Muttaqiin.
"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang bertakwa berada di dalam taman-taman syurga dan mata air. Mereka mengambil apa yang diberikan Tuhan kepada mereka. Sesungguhnya mereka sebelum itu ( di dunia) adalah orang-orang yang berbuat baik; mereka sedikit sekali tidur pada waktu malam, dan pada akhir malam mereka memohon ampun....."
( Adz Zaariyaat: 15 - 18 )
Hanya keampunanMu yang kuharapkan
Hanya keredhaanMu yang kucari
Amiin Ya Arhamarraahimiin.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
"I am home..."
"I thought you are still at the masjid...I have something for you"
"Come to my house then.."
"Okay! I am coming...but I won't be alone..my kids would surely want to come along"
"Just come...the more the merrier.."
She came that night with four of her thirteen kids. Then, not long afterward another two of her kids arrived, on their own. Their house is just within a walking distance from mine.
I have always enjoyed her company. Especially with the kids. But that day was even more special. She came with a gift.
An elegant gold coloured box with a lovely green card inside.
The first thing that you will notice on the box is the inscription in the middle:
Sallallaahu ala sayyidina Muhammad, wa aalihi wasallam.
" I want people to remember him, each time they eat kurma, I want them to remember the person behind the sunnah of eating kurma.." She said to me while I was opening the beautiful box.
" We usually associate kurma with fasting, with iftar in ramadan, but we tend to forget that it was because of him that we are all blessed with the light of Islam... we owe it to him, his tireless struggle... his love for us.."
" We eat kurma because it was his sunnah..."
She said that with such a passion, with so much love.
My heart sank. How true that is.
Suddenly I remembered a story about him.
Once, he shared one kurma with his wife for iftar because there was nothing else to eat at home that day. Only one.
He is our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.
Allaahumma solli 'ala Muhammad. Wa 'ala aali Muhammad.
Thank you my friend, my dear sister, for this special gift.
It was indeed, a gift of love.
Ya Allah persaksikanlah bahawa aku menuruti agama nabi Mu dan sunnah Baginda, sesungguhnya aku..
Menyintai Rasulullah Sallallaahu alaihi wasallam
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
“I will never forgive the man who harmed my kids. he is not my husband. He is a syaitan (satan). Because of him we aregoing to have a bleak Hari Raya,” said Che Ku Zaimah Ku Awang when Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Ahmad Said visited her yesterday.
Eight-year-old Nurul Dahyatul Fazlina Khalib was so badly disfigured in the acid attack that Ahmad sobbed openly when he saw her. Even medical officers and members of the media who accompanied him could not hold back their tears.
But Ku Zaimah was strong. “This is takdir (fate),” she was heard murmuring.
(Detail news here)
I can understand the deep resentment that a woman, a wife and a mother felt towards the man who was supposed to be the protector of the family. A man, a husband and a father has betrayed his family. The physical injuries will leave a permanent scar, but the wound in the heart of the child might not heal.
" I will never forgive him"
While the crime committed by the man seems unforgivable, the woman is now punishing herself and her child with the declaration. I am not worried about the man, he will receive the punishment he deserved, if not here, in the here after. But I felt really sorry for the woman. The deep anger will keep her imprisoned. She would be carrying a heavy burden in her heart.
I pray that Allah will send His Mercy to this woman and her children. May Allah opens her heart for forgiveness.
Only with forgiveness would she ever find the real peace in her soul.
Only with forgiveness would she be healed.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
What is your objective this ramadan?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
"Err... I can't remember.."
"More than ten?"
"No!..no.. it's less than that"
"Less than five?"
"I think so..I've been busy.."
"You should read more.."
"I have no time.."
"Really?.... Busy people usually read a lot."
"Yes..only busy people will find time to read."
Read, in the name of your Lord.
Friday, June 4, 2010
The nine activists were finally sent home, in Turkey.
They are the chosen ones.
While their bodies returned to their families, the souls returned to Him.
Palestine is the land of the prophets, Turkey is the land of Sultan Muhammad and the final khalifah.
May Allah bless these lands and the people.
May Allah bless the souls of the martyrs in Palestine, in Turkey and every where in this world.
Ameen Ya Arhamar rahimiin..
"Think not of those who are slain in Allah's way as dead. Nay, they live, finding their sustenance in the presence of their Lord; They rejoice in the bounty provided by Allah. And with regard to those left behind, who have not yet joined them (in their bliss), the (martyr's) glory in the fact that on them is no fear, nor have they (cause to) grieve"
Sunday, May 30, 2010
The carpenter told his employer of his plan to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife, enjoying his extended family.
The employer was sorry to see his employee go and asked if he would build just one more house as a personal favour to him. The carpenter reluctantly agreed. He did sloppy work and he used inferior materials.
It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.
When the carpenter finished his work, the employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter.
"This is your house," he said. "It is my retirement gift to you"
The carpenter was shocked. If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.
(Excerpt from: The Power of Giving)
We are all carpenters. We build our life everyday. Whether we do it whole-heartedly with deep passion or not it is our life that we are building.
Life is a journey, in the end we will be held accountable for all the things we did. The day will come when we will be facing Him, alone, to be judged and be rewarded.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
(The photo on the right shows Ismail Haniya, prime minister of Gaza, inspecting the work at the old naval port of Gaza, where aid ships are expected to dock)
One of the ships, Mavi Marmara has about 560 activists which includes eight Malaysians.
After months of preparation they left for this blessed journey while knowing full well that they might not return.
Let us all pray to Him, The Mighty Al Aziz, The Protector Al Muhaymin, that this honorable mission would be accomplished and all of them would return safely.
However, whatever the outcome is, they have nothing to lose. It's either returning to their family or returning to Him.
They are indeed the chosen ones. How I envy them.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
On the second day, after the hot air balloon ride we went to visit three places.
The first one was hand made carpet factory. The carpets were made either from silk, cotton or wool.
The silkworm cocoons(left- the white round thing inside the container) had to be 'processed' in a certain way in order to get the thread ( I can't recall how it was).
Yes, the poor worms were inside that white cocoons.
This lady(right) was showing us how to make the double knots, the method used only by Turkish in hand made carpet making, hence you will have a long lasting high quality carpet. Unlike machine made carpet, a genuine handmade carpet takes a long time to finish. That carpet there(right) should be ready in may be two years time.
Then, in the show room, after being served with apple tea and Turkish coffee, it's time to show the carpets. The carpets were absolutely beautiful!
And the ones made with 100% silk were not just beautiful, but they were very very soft.. and silky..of course.
But, just use your own imagination to estimate the prices.Fully hand made, and it took months to complete. Not cheap I must say.
After the carpets, we were taken to see the jewelry. Precious and semi precious stones wrapped in silver. Blue, red, black, green stones... they were all there.
The special one is turquoise. Now I know that turquoise actually originated from Turkey and the word turquoise means Turkish stone or Turkish blue.
Not only the stones were special, the designs were very unique as some of them were fully imitated from ancient Anatolian jewelries.
I was there just to "cleanse my eyes" (cuci mata, that's what we, Malay called it). And yes.. my eyes were totally cleansed all right...
The last one for the day was ceramics.
Before we arrived at the place, I was just thinking that, it's just ceramics, nothing special.
But, once I saw the finished products, I was so impressed. The intricate designs were simply amazing.
The place that we went to belonged to a family, it was a family business which has been around for many generations (eight, if I am not mistaken). It was located in one of the cave houses.
From the carpet, then jewelry and lastly the ceramics.. what I saw was people who took pride in their work. Their meticulous and delicate work requires deep passion. Without passion, it's just not possible to produce such immaculate work.
I felt honoured to have met these people. They've not only shown me their exquisite works of art, but they have taught me about passion, patience and perseverance.
All praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.