Friday, March 9, 2012

Who Moved?

Feel far from God? Who do you think moved?

Those words slapped me right on my face.

When the heart feel an emptiness and distanced from Allah, it wasn't because He had abandoned us. But rather, WE moved and walked away. From Him. We are too occupied with our worldly affairs, that we forget about Him.

Everything belongs to Him. The air that we breathe, the sun that provides the energy, the water we drink, the eyes and the sight, the ears and the hearing...
He gave us life, family and sustenance...
Everything is a gift from Him and yet we constantly fail to remember Him.
It's like receiving a gift from someone, we enjoy and cherish the gift, but we forgot to thank the one who gave.
How rude is that?

I've been feeling exactly that lately, distant and empty.
And Allah with His mercy and blessings sent me a reminder.

There was a funeral prayer at the masjid few days ago. When it was announced that there will be a funeral prayer after the zuhr prayer, I thought, like before, this would be another funeral prayer performed in absentia, i.e. without the presence of the deceased, because the burial had been completed days before.
I was standing at the female prayer section, one floor above the main prayer hall, waiting for the prayer to start when I noticed that the men at the front row were making way for something.
And then within minutes, I could see clearly a white casket being carried slowly and carefully placed at the front of the congregation. I was not expecting that and suddenly the surrounding felt very quiet. All heads turned to the same direction. " Next time, it will be our turn.." I was talking to myself, but the girl besides me nodded.
Another soul has returned, departed from the physical world and moved on to another world where no one has ever returned from. Picturing myself lying in the casket gave me cold shivers.

After the prayer, outside the masjid, I saw the van carrying the deceased. I stopped for a while to watch the family members getting on the van. One day, it will be my turn. Definitely.

As I strolled back to my office from the masjid along the murky river, light rain began to fall. It was also raining inside my heart.
I felt distant from Allah and He is calling me back. Thank you Allah...
Death is the best reminder for the heart. The heart that is constantly changing and turning around.
I need help. I can't live without His guidance.

اللَّهُمَّ أَعِنِّيْ عَلَى ذِكْرِكَ وَشُكْرِكَ وَحُسْنِ عِبَادَتِكَ

Allahumma a’inni ‘ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni ‘ibadatika

O Allah! Assist me in remembering You, in thanking You, and in worshipping You in the best of manners.

[Sahih Ahmad 5:245, Sahih abu Dawud 2:86, an-Nasa’i].