Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Missing You

Life is just not the same without you.
Just as I thought before. It's been difficult to keep up with the routine. It's challenging, very.
I miss those days. I miss those quiet, peaceful moments at the masjid.
You were indeed a blessing from Him. What if I don't get the chance to meet you again?

It had been only a few weeks, but it's just so different without you.
I am suppose to be a better person after I met you. Am I?

Ramadan, I miss you so dearly.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Going Home

The end of ramadan is the time when most of us would be heading home to celebrate hari raya. A joyous occasion, the time to be home with our family and love ones.
But where is our 'home' exactly? People say, home is where the heart is. If that is the case, then I am blessed to have a few places which I could dearly call home.

We went home to Muar this time. The plan was to stay in Muar until Sunday, then we would be leaving home to Shah Alam before heading home to Ipoh. After a few days in Ipoh, we would be leaving back home to Shah Alam.

That was the plan.
However, Allah is the best planner.

We left to Muar as planned, and on the second day of syawal, we visited an uncle, a younger brother of my father. This uncle had just recently lost his young daughter in law (during ramadan). She left behind a four month old baby, her first child. It was definitely not the usual cheerful mood of hari raya as we listened to my uncle and my cousin describing the condition of the illness that she suffered before her demise.

In the midst of our conversation, my brother received news from a cousin about another uncle in Ipoh. This uncle, who is the eldest brother of my mother had suffered a mild heart attack the night before, and his condition had now turned critical after having a second heart attack this morning.
In my mind I was contemplating on changing our hari raya plan. I must visit this uncle at the earliest time possible. Time could be running out.
But within minutes we received the sad news that our uncle had succumb to his condition. Innalillaahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'uun....

Plan had to change. Our uncle nodded quietly as we informed him of the news. He understood our urgency to leave. As we headed home to my parents' I asked my nieces and nephews in the car to recite Alfatihah. While on the way to visit the uncle before, they were happily singing some patriotic songs and I was surprised to know that they could memorize the wordings so well. And now when I asked them to recite Alfatihah, they were able to recite it better than the song. Alhamdulillah..
The recitation sounded so sincere, coming from the pure souls of children aged between 4 to 8 years old. May Allah accept their prayers.

After some hurried but thoughtful discussion, seven out of my nine siblings decided to visit the departed uncle in Ipoh. It was heart breaking to see my mother cried as we were about to leave. We knew that she would like very much to come along to pay a last visit to her beloved brother, but my father's condition did not permit her to leave him. The journey would be too far for him.

Traveling in a convoy of five cars, we tried to beat the second hari raya traffic on the PLUS highway. The smooth traffic from Muar to Kuala Lumpur slowly became rather congested after that. And sadly we missed the funeral.
We reached the quiet graveyard about one hour after the funeral. My brother lead the prayer for the demise (solat jenazah) and continued on with Yaasin recitation.

As we sat there on the ground, I looked down and watched some insects moving and crawling amidst the dry leaves; ants, bees, millipedes, spiders, caterpillars.... with the sound of birds singing in the background... I suddenly realized, it was my birthday today. I don't really celebrate birthday, but this time it evoked a sobering realization that with each birthday, my days are numbered. One day, I would be lying down, surrounded by these crawling insects, alone, six feet underground. Ya Allah.. am I ready?

We then spent a couple of hours at my auntie's house.
She looked calm while sharing with us her gratitude for our visit. I told her that uncle was very fortunate, Allah had called upon him right after a month of worship in ramadan. Hearing that my auntie smiled and nodded," Yes..Alhamdulillah.. he was able to perform the night prayers, qiamullail, every night until the end... Alhamdulillah.."
Her answer made me envious. I sincerely hope and pray that uncle had gone with all his sins forgiven. Amiin..

Of the five cars that traveled to Ipoh, two went back to Muar, one went to Klang, one went to Kota Damansara, and we stayed in Ipoh. Ipoh is another home for us.

As ramadan ended, we celebrated syawal.
Eidul fitri means a celebration of returning to the state of fitrah and a celebration of the achievement of enhanced piety.

Thank you Allah for the blessing and mercy.
Thank you Allah for honoring me with another ramadan.
Thank you Allah for reminding me, as ramadan ended, that one day my life will end too.
One day I will definitely return to You.
I shall be going home.

Sept 11, 2010

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Siapakah Mereka?

Hari ini 28 Ramadhan, 1431 Hijrah.

Bulan suci yang penuh barakah ini akan berakhir tidak lama lagi. Pada bulan ini, Dia Yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang menurunkan rahmatNya, menutup pintu nerakaNya, membuka pintu syurgaNya.

Rahmat yang tidak terlihat oleh mata kasar manusia, namun bagi orang-orang soleh yang jernih hatinya, mereka pasti mampu melihat keindahan dan merasai kemanisan beramal di setiap detik yang berlalu.

Mereka yang hatinya sentiasa tulus dan jiwanya sentiasa merindukan Penciptanya pasti begitu bahagia ketika rukuk dan sujud di malam-malam hari, menitiskan airmata keinsafan, menadah tangan memohon keampunan dan mengharapkan agar taubat diterima, agar terselamat dari tipuan dunia.

Alangkah bertuahnya mereka itu.
Semakin hari, hatinya semakin tunduk, jiwanya semakin kental.
Dunia sekelilingnya semakin tidak bermakna kerana hatinya sudah terpaut kepada akhirat yang jauh lebih indah, lebih damai dan membahagiakan.

Siapakah mereka itu...di manakah mereka..?
Wajah mereka tentunya bercahaya.
Tuturkatanya pasti menyentuh jiwa.

Namun, sesuatu yang indah dan berharga seringkalinya tersembunyi.
Tidak terlihat oleh manusia, tidak mampu makhluk dunia mengenali mereka, hanya makhluk di langit yang tahu.

Merekalah yang akan meratapi pemergian ramadhan di ambang syawal nanti.
Airmata mereka bercucuran disetiap laungan takbir hari raya, bukan kerana merindukan keluarga dan sanak saudara yang jauh. Bahkan mereka menangisi pemergian ramadhan yang sangat dicintai, ramadhan yang semakin jauh pergi.
Mereka menyambut syawal dengan kebimbangan di hati, khuatir dengan cabaran dan dugaan yang mendatang.

Mereka ini mempunyai gelaran augerah dariNya.
Di hujung ramadhan mereka begitu rindu untuk pulang, ke kampung halaman yang telah disediakan olehNya.

Merekalah para Muttaqiin.

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang bertakwa berada di dalam taman-taman syurga dan mata air. Mereka mengambil apa yang diberikan Tuhan kepada mereka. Sesungguhnya mereka sebelum itu ( di dunia) adalah orang-orang yang berbuat baik; mereka sedikit sekali tidur pada waktu malam, dan pada akhir malam mereka memohon ampun....."
( Adz Zaariyaat: 15 - 18 )

Ya Allah
Ya Rahmaan
Ya Rahiim
Ya Quddus
Ya Salaam
Ya Ghaffar
Hanya keampunanMu yang kuharapkan
Hanya keredhaanMu yang kucari
Amiin Ya Arhamarraahimiin.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Gift

"Kakak...where are you?"
"I am home..."
"I thought you are still at the masjid...I have something for you"
"Come to my house then.."
"Right now?"
"Yes..right now"
"Okay! I am coming...but I won't be kids would surely want to come along"
"Just come...the more the merrier.."

She came that night with four of her thirteen kids. Then, not long afterward another two of her kids arrived, on their own. Their house is just within a walking distance from mine.
I have always enjoyed her company. Especially with the kids. But that day was even more special. She came with a gift.
An elegant gold coloured box with a lovely green card inside.
The first thing that you will notice on the box is the inscription in the middle:

Sallallaahu ala sayyidina Muhammad, wa aalihi wasallam.

" I want people to remember him, each time they eat kurma, I want them to remember the person behind the sunnah of eating kurma.." She said to me while I was opening the beautiful box.

" We usually associate kurma with fasting, with iftar in ramadan, but we tend to forget that it was because of him that we are all blessed with the light of Islam... we owe it to him, his tireless struggle... his love for us.."
" We eat kurma because it was his sunnah..."
She said that with such a passion, with so much love.

My heart sank. How true that is.

Suddenly I remembered a story about him.
Once, he shared one kurma with his wife for iftar because there was nothing else to eat at home that day. Only one.

He is our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Allaahumma solli 'ala Muhammad. Wa 'ala aali Muhammad.

Thank you my friend, my dear sister, for this special gift.
It was indeed, a gift of love.

Ya Allah persaksikanlah bahawa aku menuruti agama nabi Mu dan sunnah Baginda, sesungguhnya aku..
Menyintai Rasulullah Sallallaahu alaihi wasallam