Reality of Marriage

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'un....
The photo on the left shows a grief-stricken young bride who lost her husband after just 4 hours of the 'nikah' or solemnization ceremony.
The bridegroom died in a car accident together with his parents and another friend. May Allah's blessing and forgiveness be granted to them.

My heart goes out to her, may Allah give her strength and patient in this difficult and trying time.
The tragedy hit me and made me realize even more that life is short and we could return to our Creator at any time.

It also touched me deeply and it left me pondering and contemplating about the reality of marriage.
Marriage is sacred, it is a bond made in the name of Allah.
A bond that comes with a set of rules and responsibilities where we would be held accountable on the day of judgement.

It is natural that everyone of us dream of a blissful marriage with beautiful children and a comfortable home. But, life is actually a test, where marriage is just one part of the test. Marriage demands a lot of patience and sacrifice.
It is not as simple as two people falling in love, get married and they live happily ever after.
Love alone is insufficient to build a strong and peaceful marriage.
Prophet Muhammad SAW taught us to check on four aspects as a guide in choosing a life partner; wealth, beauty, family background and religion. But, he emphasized on the religious aspect as the main priority as it is the one that can bring the true spiritual contentment. Praying for guidance in the form of solat istikharah and placing our full trust in Allah in making the decision base on the prayer is an obligation.

Having a special boyfriend/girlfriend, going out on a date, spending time together with the excuse of getting to know someone before taking the steps into marriage is prohibited and not recognized in Islam. Many 'couple' has fallen into the trap of syaitan and committed sins in the name of 'love'. Without a sincere repentance, the sins would darken the hearts, and haunt them forever without them realizing it.

It is not just about having a happy family or beautiful children. The purpose of marriage should not be limited to fulfilling the physical and emotional needs. Human are created first as a spiritual creature, hence will always be in pursuit of spiritual happiness. A happiness that can only be achieved when we fulfilled our spiritual needs, that is to worship our Creator and to return to Him with a sound heart ( qalbun saliim ). We need to have the right perspective on our purpose in life, where we came from, why are we here and where are we going.

Some marriage last a life time, or may be just a few hours, or it could end in divorce. A blessed marriage is not judged by any material or social achievement. It is a marriage that will take us to the gate of paradise.

"The day when wealth and sons avail not (any man), except him who comes to Allah with a sound heart (free from evil)" As Syuara':88-89