Deluded

"Tuhan, Maaf, Kami Sedang Sibuk"
Translated as, "God, Sorry, We Are Busy"

The title of this book startled me.
What kind of book is that?
How could anyone ever say that?
I certainly would not utter those words. Ever.
May Allah protect my tongue from saying it.

But something stirred in my heart, and after a few steps, I returned to the shelf to pick up the book. I read the title again. Immediately, tears begun to well up in my eyes.
Reading the synopsis on the back cover of the book made me realized about something.
Something deep and insidious.

Reading the first few pages of the book brought more tears and my heart sank.

O Allah...
Please forgive me.
Please forgive my arrogance.

Yes, my tongue never and would not say the words. No, of course not.
But, weren't there countless times that my actions, my hands and my feet were saying exactly that?
Astaghfirullah....
On the day of judgement, it is not the tongue that would be speaking. It's my hands and my feet.

Everyday, my worldly affairs kept me busy.
What am I busy about?
Who am I doing it for?
Who am I trying to fool?
I was not busy pleasing Him, was I?
How many times have I delayed answering His call? How many times have other things took priorities over reading His words? How many times have I forgotten Him?

My heart is diseased.
I am deluded by my arrogance.
Astaghfirullaah...