Life is not a Vacation

Remembering The Blessed Birth

2012-02-04T22:34:00.007+08:00

This book was bought today at
Souq Muamalah Madinah, Shah
Alam for 2 dirham.

I've read, I've listened to, stories about him many times.
Today, I bought yet another book about him. I need to know more about him. I need to learn more from him.

Today is 12 Rabi'ul Awal, his birthday. Birthdays were never an important issue in my life, but his birthday was a day that marked a turning point in human history. It's one birthday worth reminiscing about.

"He lifted his head when he was born, looking skywards. A light issued with him when he was born."
"There are the wonders that took place the night he was born when the arcade of Chosroes shook and its balconies fell down, the waters of Lake Tiberias ebbed, and the flame of Persia, which had not been out for a thoudsand of years, was extinguished." (an excerpt of the book on the left)

It was indeed a day full of miracles and mercy. A blessed day for the entire humanity.
But it's not just about his miraculous birthday.
It is about his entire life and the message that he brought.
"We did not send you except as a mercy to all the worlds" (Al Anbiya':107)
His very being was mercy, and his life was dedicated to extend the mercy to all the worlds.

I remember a friend told me about her young daughter's dream. The girl was just about five or six years old and she was blessed with a dream of Prophet Muhammad SAW. When anyone dream about the prophet it was his true self that he/she shall see, because no one can impersonate his noble being, including satan. We know that our Prophet SAW is a perfect man, physically, emotionally and spiritually, so what could we expect a very young girl to say about the prophet that she saw in a dream?
The girl was asked how does Prophet Muhammad SAW look like. And her answer brought me to tears. "He looks gentle"
Subhaanallah... He is indeed a mercy. How else should a merciful being look like? His face radiates with mercy even a child can see and perfectly described, even only if it was in a dream.
How true that is. I've experienced it myself, but not in a dream about him. (How I wish I could be blessed with one)
It was when I visited his city, his masjid. The distinct atmosphere that I felt around me was exactly that. Gentleness. A portrayal of his supreme character and personality that has won so many hearts for more than a thousand years.

Allaahumma solli 'alaa Muhammad.

The Beginning

2012-01-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

To all my students in this new semester, I wish you all the best.

Let us all raise our hands together is praise of Him, The Most Merciful.

Let us all ask for His blessings and guidance so that our hearts will always remain in remembrance of Him in everything that we do.

May the next fourteen weeks of classes becomes the weeks that will take us closer to Him. Ameen...

"Whoever treads on a path in search of Islamic knowledge, Allah will ease the way to Paradise for him. The angels will lower their wings, pleased with this seeker of knowledge, and everyone in the heavens and on earth will ask forgiveness for the knowledgeable person, even the fish in the deepest of waters will ask for his forgiveness”

[Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi # 2835-sahih hadith]

"Seek knowledge, because seeking it for the sake of Allah is a worship. And knowing it makes you more God-fearing; and searching for it is jihad, teaching it to those who do not know is charity, reviewing and learning it more is like tasbeeh. Through knowledge Allah will be known and worshipped. With the knowledge Allah will elevate people and make them leaders and imams, who will in turn guide other people."

[Fatawa Ibn Taymiyya vol.10, p.39]

The Hard Lesson

2012-01-07T08:57:00.004+08:00

A special dedication to all my students who are currently in the midst of final exam.

I know that they are having their final exams right now. But that day I received a message from one of them saying something of the following:
"Madam, someone broke into our car and stole everything, my laptop, my books, my notes, my Qur'an...."
Oh..no... My heart goes out to her.
The exam is stressful enough, and to lose all the precious valuable belongings while in the midst of preparing for the exam is a double blow. But in the same message she managed to say, "Allah is trying to teach me something.."
Subhaanallah...may Allah bless her. Of course she is not jumping up and down celebrating her loss, but she has the heart of a true student. A student who is in a continuous state of learning, where everything that happens is considered as a lesson to be learnt.

The thing is, when something is meant to happen, there is nothing in the world that we can do to prevent it. And, when something is not meant to happen, there is nothing in the world that we can do to make it happen. Yes, we should take lesson from what had happened and be extra careful the next time. But we should not dwell upon regretting that "I should have done this or that.. if I do that..if..if.."
If she is meant to be successful in her exam, she will, with or without her notes and books. And what had happened is part of the plan that He, The Most Merciful, has laid for her. Nothing escapes His mercy and wisdom.
This event reminded me of the story about the great scholar, Imam Al-Ghazali.

On his way back from Jurjan to Tus al-Ghazzali was robbed by highwaymen.
When they left him he followed them but was told: "Leave us or you will die."
He replied: "I ask you for Allah’ sake to only return to me my notes, for they are of no use to you." The robber asked him: "What are those notes?"
He said: "Books in that satchel, for the sake of which I left my country in order to hear, write, and obtain their knowledge."
The robber laughed and said: "How can you claim that you obtained their knowledge when we took it away from you and left you devoid of knowl-edge!"
Then he gave an order and the satchel was returned to him.
Al-Ghazzali said: "This man’s utterance was divinely inspired (hâdhâ mustantaqun): Allah caused him to say this in order to guide me. When I reached Tus I worked for three years until I had memorized all that I had written down.
(Taken from here)

That was a significant turning point in the great imam's life. A lesson from a robber.

Back to my student who had lost her books. Just a few days before the event, I met her at the masjid. She was commenting about how some lecturers were not teaching in a way that she expected. What she said was true and she has the right as a student to voice out her opinion and dissatisfaction. And she was not in any way condemning her lecturer. I know that deep down she has maintained a deep respect towards her lecturers.
So, I reminded her that, while lecturers do have their responsibility in teaching, as a mature student, she must be responsible in her own learning. And more importantly a student must always remember the purpose behind learning, that is to seek the pleasure of Allah, to fulfill the obligation as a muslim in answering the call for "Iqra'...Read.. "
"Iqra' bismi rabbik..Read in the name of your Lord.."
Forgetting that purpose will leave you groping in the dark. And you will find that your hard work and your struggle to be very tiring and exhausting, because your had lost the meaning of what you are doing.

Besides that, we must always focus on ourselves, on what we can do, not what others should do. You cannot change your teacher, but you can change yourself. Imam Ghazali decided to change his learning method and not worry about the robber. He considered the robber as God-sent, to remind him about his purpose in learning.

May Allah bless her and lead her to the path taken by the pious learned man, Imam Ghazali. Ameen...

Yesterday I was clever, I want to change the world.

Today I am wise, I want to change myself. (Sheikh Navaid Aziz, Twins of Faith)

The Highway

2011-12-15T22:36:00.001+08:00

My office had been relocated again, and today was my second day at the new place. For the past 4 years, driving long distance to work (about 60km - one way) had been my routine and I usually took the opportunity to enjoy the view along the way. It helps in relieving the stress of driving. This new place is a bit closer although it's still a long journey with more traffic.

Somehow today, while driving to work I fell into deep contemplation.
Driving along the DUKE highway was enjoyable as the traffic was really smooth even during peak hours. I tend to agree with many people who said that DUKE highway is by far one of the most 'beneficial and functional' highway ever built in this congested Klang Valley. This highway bypassed so many busy roads and yet it remain constantly smooth. The first time I drove on this highway on my own I was pleasantly surprise at how fast it took me to reach my destination.

Today, as usual I was on DUKE highway for a mere 5 minutes, and I suddenly felt indebted to those who were involved in building this highway. Looking at the road, I imagine the people who laid the asphalt for days, weeks, months under the hot sun, the lorry drivers, the technicians, the engineers, the electricians and the list goes on and on. Together they worked hard, all in different position with different function, but with one mission, building a safe highway for the public.
How many people have used this road, and who are they? They could be doctors working with patients, they could be mothers sending children to school, they could be sons, daughters on the way to visit their parents, or an ustaz on the way to teach people about Islam.
I imagine all the good deeds that the highway users are doing, and the rewards that they will receive, wouldn't that be shared with the people who sincerely toiled in building the highway? I believe so.

May Allah bless them all... Amiin.

The Story of Love

2011-11-22T23:51:00.000+08:00

I had just finished listening to the sound of azan through my mobile phone. The azan for Maghrib prayer from Masjidil Haram in Makkah. How soothing it was, listening to the call of prayer directly from His house thousands of miles away. My tears is still flowing while I am typing this.
I made the special request to my brother who is now still in Makkah for hajj. He would be coming home soon, and tonight is his last attempt in making the call so I could listen to the azan live from the holy land. The few attempts made before were not quite successful. After the third failed attempt I realized that I've forgotten something. I forgot to ask from Him, the Owner of the holy land, the Owner of the masjid. I forgot to seek His permission. I went to sleep crying that night realizing my mistake. How could I forgot that...And just now, finally I was able to listen clearly..thank you Allah. I miss that sound so much..that soothing sound from Your house.

Every year when the hajj season comes, I would be quite emotional and I could feel a deep sense of longing in my heart.
It was love at first sight. The unforgettable experience of seeing the Kaabah for the first time will remain in my heart forever.
I've travelled to other places in my life, but traveling for hajj is totally a different experience, incomparable.
Hajj, with all it's obligated rituals and challenges, is actually a lesson about love.

Hajj taught me that if I want to love Him, I must free myself from loving others. Because He does not accept any partners in this relationship. I must love Him alone. I must depend on Him alone.
If I want anything, anything at all, big or small, anything... I must ask from Him. I must pray to Him.
If I want to love anyone else, it must be in the way that He allows.
My duty here in this world, a temporary world, is to please Him. To prove my love to Him. In this world it's not about seeking pleasure for myself or anyone else, but seeking for His pleasure.
Because He made a promise, that later, in the hereafter He will reward us with a pleasure beyond our imagination. In the hereafter, He will reward us the pleasure.
The kind of pleasure that will remain forever.
Hajj taught me about eternal love, as shown by Prophet Ibrahim when he slaughtered his own son, because as much as he loves his son, he loves Allah more, his love for Allah is beyond measure.
Because, to love human is natural, but to love Him is eternal.
THAT is true love.

Hajj is a lesson about love, and Makkah is the city of love.
Ya Allah...when I visited Your house, I left my heart there. I hope it will remain close to You.
Amiin.

So Many

2011-11-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

"This Day, We shall seal up their mouths, and their hands will speak to Us, and their legs will bear witness to what they used to earn" ( Ya-Sin: 65)

So many things on my mind.
So many ideas to write. Yet, the heart refuse.
The heart is heavy.
Every day, the heart worries.
Ya Allah..Ya Haadi..Ya Nuur..
Guide my heart with your light.

Whenever..

2011-10-19T23:19:00.001+08:00

"But whosoever turns away from My Reminder, verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him blind on the day of resurrection" (Ta-ha: 124)

" And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out, And He will provide him from(sources) he never could imagine" ( At Talaq: 2-3)

Whenever trouble comes, whenever your life gets difficult, examine your relationship with Allah.
Scrutinize yourself , how have you 'treated' Him lately.

Your heart is in pain because you've turned away from Him.
Your soul is lost because you've deviated from His path.
When your body is tired, and your feet can't barely stand, it's time to bend your knees.
It's time to lower your head to the ground. It's time to prostrate in humbleness and shed the tears of repentance.
Because within your tears and your shattered heart, you will find Him.
You will find the way.

To The Graduates

2011-10-13T07:38:00.003+08:00

Another year, another group. They graduated recently, my students whom I've taught at the foundation level. I received the thank you message from one of them and I was gleaming with pride to know that she graduated with first-class honours and ranked among the top five in the program. Alhamdulillah...all praise be to Allah.

Learning is a process that is experienced by all without exception, but unversity education is a privilege that not all are blessed with the opportunity.
While having a degree give us an official certificate of higher learning, it does not necessarily make us a learned person. Because, earning knowledge can be achieved by many, but obtaining wisdom is only for the selected few. As mentioned by Sheikh Yawar Baig, it is very unfortunate that nowadays, learning has been reduced to 'make a living' instead of 'for living'. The noble objectives of education of producing excellent leaders has been sidelined in place of producing human capital for the workforce.
With an education system that has lost it's soul, we now live in turmoil because the foundation of our society has been shaken. We see many university graduates whose intelligence are proven by their high academic achievement, but they fail to lead a life within the boundary of sacred moral values. Some even lead a promiscuous life.

When I started my career in IIUM, I came with high hopes that this university would be able to maintain and preserve the tradition of producing better intellectuals by integrating faith, knowledge and good character ( imaan, 'ilm and akhlaq ). Alone, I am not capable of turning the mission into reality, but in this garden of knowledge and virtue, my position at the gate of the garden is crucial.
I certainly hope that I've managed to help the students not only in understanding the subject taught but more importantly in nurturing them to be the future leaders by always reminding them about their purpose in seeking knowledge. Because, according to Sheikh Yawar Baig, our legacy is that, "We will be measured by the quality of those we nurtured".

To my dear students,
Let me remind you that the process of learning has not end, in fact it has intensified. As you completed your studies in the university, another phase of learning had just begun. You must continue searching for the teachers out there, the ones who will guide your heart and your mind. They could be the senior executives who dressed in suits, but they could also be the humble taxi drivers whose advice is loaded with wisdom.
In your hands and on your shoulders, we leave the huge responsibility of leading the society and the nation. You are not just any graduate. You are the graduate of International Islamic University. In whatever career that you choose, you are the role model of muslim youth.

Please accept my heartiest congratulations, and.. welcome to the real world.

I Am Afraid

2011-10-01T22:19:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I am afraid to write.
I know that I shall be held accountable for every single word that I write. And I am afraid of the consequence of my writing.

For the many writings that had made their way to the blog page, I still have quite a number that remained under draft category. Even this very posting had stayed for months without being published.

I am afraid, because just like every other things that I do, I want my writings to be worthy of rewards.
And the rewards that I am yearning for is not from my readers but from my Creator.
The Creator has such a lofty standards. A standard that only He can measure.
A standard that placed sincerity as the top most priority.
.
.
.
.
Enough said.

The Birthday

2011-09-28T22:54:00.001+08:00

We had a small birthday celebration today at our department. It was meant for the 'september babies' as they call us. Three of us including yours truly were born in September, in different years. I am the oldest among the three.

Last year, on my birthday, I sat quietly at a cemetery. My dear uncle had just passed away on the second day of Shawal. And this year, when my brother sent me a birthday message on my phone I replied to him that it's been one year since our uncle died.
Then suddenly within hours after that my brother called to inform me of the demise of another uncle. And just like the year before, again, we rushed back home.

Twice, on my birthday, I was reminded by Allah about death.
It is a reminder for me that with each birthday, I am getting nearer to the inevitable. Death is definite.
We will die. Not because we are old, not because we are ill. It is not about our age, not about our health.
We will die because it is time.
And we should remember death more than remembering birthday.

Jalan Masih Panjang

2011-09-20T06:56:00.004+08:00

My first attempt in uploading my video on youtube.

A Flower Girl

2011-09-10T10:53:00.003+08:00

When I woke up this morning, I immediately went to check on my window. It was still dark and I couldn't really see them, but I knew there were many, because I could smell them.

Last night, a friend had asked for the flowers, the one that had grown so tall that it reached my bedroom window.

It was raining this morning and the plants in garden were all wet but they all looked so fresh.

I took out a ladder and started cutting the flowers.

By the time I was done, I was drenched, all wet.

However, Alhamdulillah....I managed to get enough as requested.

It is a special day today.

It's the wedding day of a friend's daughter.

And I am the flower girl.

But I won't be dressing up like a princess carrying the flowers for the wedding procession. Just imagine how hilarious it is to see a flower girl my age.

The flowers are meant for the bride's room. These flowers have such a sweet refreshing smell that it never fail to put a joyful smile on anyone's face. When these flowers are taken into a room, the smell would reach you even before you could see it.

Subhaanallah...
I am delighted to be able to contribute a tiny bit of happiness into this joyous occasion.
May Allah bless the young couple and grant them true happiness the their marriage.

The flowers in the bride's room before being properly placed.

The Departure

2011-09-06T07:57:00.001+08:00

Shawal : You are not happy to see me...?

Self : Of course I am, Shawal...it's just that..

Shawal : You miss Ramadan.

Self : Yes..very much...

Shawal : It's time.. He has to leave.

Self : Yes... I understand. Life has to go on even without him.

Shawal : Did you spend your time well when he was around?

Self : I tried...Allah knows, I tried Shawal. But now I am worried.

Shawal : About what...

Self : When he was around I was stronger. He came with so much blessings and mercy from Allah. Now that he is gone, I feel so vulnerable... it's hard.. it's different now.

Shawal : Everything is temporary, even Ramadan. But Allah is always there. Ramadan came to give you the motivation and support, and now you must continue your journey without him.

Self : Yes...did he say anything before he leave, Shawal?

Shawal: Actually yes...Ramadan said, whenever you need a friend to comfort you, to support you , there's someone whom you can always rely on.

Self : Who is it, Shawal? Who??

Shawal : Patience.

" Be patient, for your patience is with the help of Allah"
( An Nahl : 127 )

" Oh you who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer, for God is with those who patiently persevere "
( Al Baqarah : 153 )

My Beloved Ramadan

2011-08-18T06:48:00.000+08:00

As I looked up to the sky, I saw the beautiful radiant Ramadan moon. It's been 17 blessed days.
If only the eyes could see all the mercy and blessings descending upon us, the angels surrounding us...
If only our eyes could see the door of paradise widely opened, and the door of hell tightly closed...
The eyes can't see, the ears can't hear, but the heart can feel.
Let the eyes shed the tears, so the heart can be cleansed.
Let the tears flow.. to heal the ailing soul, to douse the flame of hell.

Allahumma innaka 'afuwwun tuhibbul 'afwa fa'fu 'annee
O Allah.. You are Oft-Forgiving, and you love forgiveness. So forgive me..

The Midnight Sun Masjid

2011-07-21T06:59:00.002+08:00

A remarkable story:

Inuvik is an arctic town in Canada s Northwest Territories with a population of about 3,500 people. Its located right at the tip of North America facing the Arctic Ocean. With a polar climate and harsh living conditions, one wouldn't expect to find a town there, let alone a town with Muslims. But there is a Muslim community there and a growing one, too. So much so that the trailer that was being used as the mosque ran out of room and this community now needed a new masjid..

Building a masjid in the Arctic , however, is far more complicated than it is anywhere else. The scarcity of skilled labour and material makes the cost of such a project skyrocket and this undertaking is simply impossible for a small community of a 100 people.Their situation is akin to that of the Muslims in Edmonton , who despite all odds managed to erect Canada s first masjid in 1938. With faith in God anything is possible. At a time like this, the Inuvik Muslims could have simply prayed for a masjid to be shipped over. And thats exactly what they were about to get.

Enter, the Zubaidah Tallab Foundation. The Zubaidah Tallab Foundation is a charity based out of Manitoba .

The remarkable individuals at this organization decided to give the Inuvikans a hand and took it upon themselves to ensure that the masjid got built. After evaluating the cost of locally building the masjid, they came up with a plan which at first sight would easily be dismissed as insanity. Build the masjid inWinnipeg and ship it 4,000 kilometres away to Inuvik in the Northwest Territories .

As insane as that may sound, this was the most economical way of getting the masjid built. Part of the masjids journey was going to be on roads (2400km) and part on water (1800 km). The goal was to get the mosque on to the last barge heading towards Inuvik for the season. Not only was this going to be a logistical nightmare but it was to be a race against time as well. With receding water levels in the Mackenzie River , the shipping company decided to push up thedeparture date by 3 weeks.

The 1,500 square-foot masjid was built in Winnipeg and started its journey on a semi-trailer. The over-sized trailer made its way through back roads and country highways, struggling to make it to the barge in time; it was delayed further by Labour Day celebrations and highway regulations. To complicate matters even more, the bridge across Reindeer Creek proved too narrow for the trailer. The driver had to remove the back wheels and a second truck was brought in to balance the back of the flatbed as the masjid was moved carefully across bridge. But this wasn't the biggest scare. All hopes and dreams came close to being shattered when the masjid almost fell off the trailer into a creek near the Alberta border.

The organizers managed to request the shipping company to hold the barge for two extra days and perhaps by divine intervention, the barge was delayed further due to poor weather. With lots of prayer and a little bit of luck, the trailer managed to get to the barge just in time. The masjid was loaded on to the barge and set off for its journey towards the North Pole.

The barge arrived in Inuvik , on September 24 ^th2010. After an excruciating 3-week journey, the little masjid arrived at its destination; all in one piece. The Inuvik Muslims gathered around the port to witness the historical event. They chanted prayers to praise and thank God as they waited. Some jumped around with joy while others were overwhelmed with gratitude and came to tears.

Numerous finishing touches needed to be added and it took about a month to get the mosque ready for use.

Fathallah Fargat, a carpenter from St. Catherines , Ontario was inspired by the story and traveled all the way to Inuvik to help set up the masjid. He even helped build a 10-meter minaret to accompany the newly erected masjid.

The Midnight Sun Masjid, as it is now called, was inaugurated on November 10^th2010 to become North Americas northern most masjid. All in all, the entire project cost about $300,000. The Zaid Tallabah Foundation, which still has outstanding payments to make, is looking to raise another $21,000.

The Inuvik masjid is a stellar example of what can be accomplished by unity, hard work and faith in God.

For those let down by the petty attacks on masjid around the West, this story should rejuvenate your spirit and give you hope. If people can manage to build a masjid in the Arctic , then building one anywhere else should be far from impossible.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/story/2010/11/10/arctic-mosque-inuvik-opening.html

The truth has definitely reached all four corners of the world..

Subhaanallah...

Alhamdulillaah...

Detik Waktu

2011-07-08T09:44:00.001+08:00

Detik-detik berlalu
Dalam hidup ini
Perlahan tapi pasti
Menuju mati

Kerap datang rasa takut
Menusuk di hati
Takut... hidup ini terisi
Dengan sia-sia

Pada hening dan sepi
Aku bertanya
Dengan apa ku isi
Hidupku ini

Ramadan akan datang lagi...
Ya Allah
Hanya RahmatMu yang kuharapkan

Penguin Sesat...Kesian Dia...

2011-06-23T08:19:00.003+08:00

Poor penguin...lost your way?

WELLINGTON - Wildlife experts said they were astonished Wednesday at the appearance of an Emperor penguin in New Zealand, some 3,000 kilometres from his Antarctic home.
The penguin, a juvenile male, arrived at a beach on the Kapiti Coast, 40 kilometres north of the capital Wellington on Monday afternoon, the Department of Conservation (DOC) said.
It was only the second recorded sighting of an Emperor penguin in New Zealand, DOC spokesman Peter Simpson said, with the species' only previous registered appearance in the country on the South Island in 1967.

Simpson said he did not initially believe reports that the wayward bird was an Emperor penguin, the largest species of the distinctive waddling creatures, which can grow up to 1.15 metres (45 inches) tall.
"At first I though it must have been some sort of seal but we went and checked it out and to our immense surprise it did indeed turn out to be an Emperor penguin," he told AFP.
Simpson said the bird appeared in good health and was taking regular swims to cool down in the relative warmth of the New Zealand climate.

"At this time of year he should be sitting on the sea ice in Antarctica in 24-hour darkness," he said.
"They go out to to sea to feed in the Antarctic summer and this one, he's a juvenile and it's his first time out, so it looks like he's gone a long way out and got lost."
He said wildlife officers were monitoring the penguin and expected it would eventually depart for the long swim home.
"I expect it has some sort of homing instinct," he said.
"This is a species that spends its whole life at sea, either in the water or on the sea ice."
© Copyright (c) AFP

Read more: http://www.montrealgazette.com/technology/science/story.html?id=4983861#ixzz1Q3SGa3Td

May Allah guide your way back home, my dear penguin.
Even if you fail to return safely, and died along the way..
You are very fortunate..
Your life ends at the moment of your last breath...
You will not be held accountable for anything..
You will not be judge in the hereafter..

The Blessings

2011-06-13T22:11:00.006+08:00

In the name of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
All praises and thanks be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

Alhamdulillah, I am back to work since last week. My doctor said that my recovery would take about four to eight weeks. I am on my 8th week now, after six weeks of medical leave.
I was not that excited to return to work last week, and I went home feeling totally drained out of energy. So I took two days off, and now, this week I am feeling much better.

The last time I had a check up, my blood pressure was 120/80 and my hemoglobin was 13.5 (it was 7 previously).
Alhamdulillah...I was overjoyed...those were really beautiful numbers...

The doctor 'prescribed' me with a diet that is the envy of many, especially those in my age group. I am suppose to be on high protein, high calorie diet of red meat, chicken, fish, with added salt.

Part of my envious diet.

I must take full cream milk, not the skimmed low fat ones. Beside drinking lots of water, I have to take five meals everyday. A dietician was sent to me when I was at the hospital to educate me about my recovery diet. In short, I was instructed to eat and drink more.

I am feeling much healthier now, Alhamdulillah...It's just that I got tired easily once I started working. A friend who had experienced similar surgery told me that it is the effect of the anesthesia. Even though I have recovered from the surgery, it would take some time for my energy to return to normal.

The new academic year had started and my department was kind enough to let me have all my classes at the ground floor level, just a few doors away from the office.

I had been blessed with a loving husband and caring siblings who took good care of me, families and friends, students, who came to visit and offering help here and there. And those who were not able to visit had been sending messages and prayers. Alhamdulillah...

"Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you deny?"
This verse from Surah Ar Rahmaan, is repeated 31 times...
and it really hit me.

Thank you Allah...for all the blessings..
Thank you Allah for everything.

Thank You Allah

2011-06-10T20:34:00.001+08:00

Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?
Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you deny?
( Ar Rahmaan:13)

Alhamdulillah
All praise be to Allah

I have a lot to be thankful for.
I need to remind myself again and again to be thankful.
And I need to remind myself not to forget Him.
Forgive me Ya Allah...

Praying for HIS Endless Mercy 2

2011-05-06T16:18:00.006+08:00

The monitor in ICU

It was really cold there in the ICU but I was too weak to bother to look around my surrounding. They had to send me there because the equipment needed for my new treatment was only available in the ICU.

Once I was transferred to the ICU bed, the doctor kindly asked my husband to wait outside the room since she was going to start the procedure immediately.
All the tubes on both of my hands and my spine had been taken off, not because I don't need them anymore but they would be replaced and inserted in one place. In my neck.

The doctor explained to me about my situation and the steps that they are going to take involving new medication, another bag of blood and more fluids. Again, their main concern was my heart. My long term anemia had caused some 'damage' to my heart, as shown in my ECG, and my body was not responding well to the treatment so far. The tumor that had been removed were quite huge, one as big as a baby's head, another one as big as a tennis ball and few small ones. Once removed, they left huge opening and that's how I lost the excessive amount of precious blood.
My BP was still fluctuating, from the amount of fluid that had been transfused, the same amount were sent out by my body as shown in my urine bag. Apparently my body failed to retain the fluid, hence the BP remained way below the normal level.

The new procedure involved inserting an intravenous tube through my jugular vein in my neck that would be directed straight to my heart. Blood, fluid and the new medication will be transfused through this one tube.
As the doctor prepared for the procedure, I tried my best to keep calm and control my anxiety.
It was painful...no anesthetic was used. The nurse who stood beside me looked with sympathy and she held out her hand to me. As the doctor started injecting the needle to my neck I held the nurse's hand tightly and plead to Allah, The Most Merciful...
A verse from the Qur'an kept coming to my mind,
"We verily created man and We know what his soul whispered to him, and We are nearer to him than his jugular vein" (Qaf:16)
Allah..He is near, very near, nearer to me than the vein in my neck. And only He knew how I felt at that time.

May Allah grant me forgiveness through these pain..
May it become a compensation for my sins...
The doctor tried her best to be extra gentle, each time updating me with what she was doing.

Tube inserted to my neck

"I am going to inject you now, it's a bit painful.."
"I am sorry madam.....I am done with that..okay.?."
"I am going to insert the tube to your vein now..."
"...sorry..sorry...I know it's painful.."
And she joined me in calling out to Allah.
"Ok now...Allaahuakbar..Allaahuakbar...", the tube went in slowly.
A painful one for me, but a very delicate and difficult one for her.
"It will be over soon...okay..are you okay?.."
"I am almost done..sorry...just another two minutes.."
But it wasn't two minutes.
By the time it was over, the strain and discomfort remained. Later I realized that the tube had five different openings, one for blood, one for fluid and one for the special medication for my heart. The other two were spared for injecting anti-biotic and painkiller.

That night, I tried my best to sleep but despite being on painkiller, my back was aching. My hands and feet were stiff and it's no fun having a tube in my neck. I was afraid to move my head.
In my mind, I believed that those who knew about my surgery had been praying for me, but at that time I felt that I needed more support.
I gathered all my strength not to cry and requested my husband who was sitting beside me to make a special du'a for me, "Please pray that I'll remain strong...I am so tired right now...."
I was at my lowest moment and on the brink of despair. I closed my eyes, still trying very hard to sleep.
Then I saw my husband raised his hands and prayed quietly. Almost immediately my strength came back... Alhamdulillah...thank you Allah...
I fell in and out of sleep in discomfort until the doctor offered me sleeping medication which I willingly took. I woke up three hours later at 5.30am when the nurses came to clean me up.

Subhaanallah...
Alhamdulillah...
That was two weeks ago. I stayed one day in normal ward preparing for surgery, one day in HDU after the surgery, two days in ICU due to the complications and another two days in HDU before being discharged.
Alhamdulillah now I am home, recuperating.

I am writing this as a remainder for myself.
That, life has it's ups and downs. And for everything that happened, as long as we keep our trust in Allah and keep remembering Him, we can always feel His presence, His mercy.
I felt and saw Allah's mercy everywhere.
I felt it in the gentle hands of the nurses and doctors.

I felt it in the presence of my beloved husband, my siblings, my families, my friends and everyone who came to visit me.

As I pray to Allah to heal me, I know I am praying to The Most Merciful.. Ar Rahiim.
The One who provides comfort and peace, As Salam.

Al Muhaimin, The Giver of Protection, Al Haleem, The Gentle.
But I must remain patient and strong, because He will grant me the recovery in due time. It's like the changing of days and nights, I can't expect to see sunlight when night time had just begun. The night will become darker and darker, then, when it is time, the darkness would lessen and slowly the sun will rise and another beautiful day come to greet us. I must wait patiently.

My darkest moment in the ICU is over and now as I am recovering, the sun is slowly rising.
I must be thankful to Allah for the sunshine, the continuous mercy descended upon me.
I must continue praying for His endless mercy.
And I hope with all sincerity that His mercy would never ceased especially on the day that I finally meet Him, the Judgement Day.
Amiin..Ya Arhamar Raahimiin..

"Who has created me, and it is He who guides me, and it is He who feeds me and gives me to drink. And when I am ill, it is He who cures me. And who will cause me to die, and then will bring me to life (again). And who, I hope will forgive me my faults on the Day of Resurrection" ( As Shu'ara': 78 - 82)

Praying for HIS Endless Mercy 1

2011-05-05T09:13:00.002+08:00

"Your ECG is not normal"
......
"Did you have a heart attack before?"
"No....."
"Any chest pain?"
"No....."
"Difficulty breathing?"
"No....."

"We'll do a heart ultra sound tomorrow morning. If you heart is ok, then the surgery can proceed. Otherwise we'll have to change the plan"

The brief conversation I had with the cardiologist the day before my surgery left me bewildered.
Heart attack? How is that possible?
Ya Rahman..Ya Rahiim...

Alhamdulillah..all praise be to Allah.
My ultra sound the next day showed that my heart was functioning normally.

The surgery lasted about two and a half hours. I woke up feeling tired with slight pain.
Instead of the normal ward, I was placed in High Dependency Unit (HDU). There were tubes on both of my hands, my spine and lower abdomen. Wires were attached to my chest, there was a clip on one of my fingers and a device to measure my blood pressure(BP) was attached to my arm. I was given some blood and fluid through the tubes. The wires were to measure my pulse, heart beat, BP, oxygen level, and..something else which I am not sure of.
I was told that my BP and hemoglobin level were extremely low because I had lost too much blood during the surgery.
The nurses and doctors kept asking me, "Any pain anywhere?..."
I didn't feel any pain, just lethargic and sleepy. I don't remember much of what happened that day.
It was at night when I began to feel uncomfortable. I vomited three times in between sleeps.
My abdominal muscle(where the wound was) contracted while I vomited and it was really painful.
Somehow I could sleep relatively well that night. Alhamdulillah...

The next morning I was allowed to take some fluid orally and I chose to take a sip of zam-zam water.

The surgeon came and told me that the surgery was a success, the tumor had been removed. He explained about what had happened during the surgery and upon checking on the wound he said I should be able to be discharged as early as the next day. Alhamdulillah...
But there were four doctors in charge of me, and the cardiologist was still very concern about my BP. He was puzzled why it didn't respond well to the blood and fluid transfusion that was performed since the day before. I had been given two bags of blood and bags (I didn't know how many) of fluid but the BP was still alarmingly low. His concern was about my heart.
I think it was then that my husband started keeping record of my BP reading that was shown in the monitor above my bed. It kept fluctuating with the lowest recorded at 78/53mmHg (normal BP is 120/80)
By late afternoon when the cardiologist came to check on me again he told me of a new plan which he had discussed with the anesthesiologist. I listened quietly as he explained the new procedure.
I was not afraid, neither worried, I just felt really weak and my mind just went blank.
I remembered the prayers that I made in the holy land, and the plenty of tears that I shed. It was in preparation of this day.

Ya Rahmaan...Ya Rahiim..

Give me strength Ya Allah..

I was then wheeled to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

Muhasabah Cinta

2011-04-30T19:20:00.004+08:00

Wahai pemilik nyawaku
Betapa lemah diriku ini
Berat ujian dari Mu
Kupasrahkan semua pada Mu

Tuhan... baru kusadar
Indah nikmat sehat itu
Tak pandai aku bersyukur
Kini ku harapkan cinta Mu

Kata kata cinta terucap indah
Mengalir berdzikir di kidung do’a ku
Sakit yang kurasa biar
Jadi penawar dosaku

Butir butir cinta air mataku

Terlihat semua yang Kau beri untukku
Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini
Ya Illahi

Muhasabah cintaku

Tuhan.... kuatkan aku
Lindungiku dari putus asa
Jika ku harus mati
Pertemukan aku dengan Mu

The Peaceful Home Stay

2011-04-19T23:00:00.002+08:00

Bismillah Ar Rahmaan Ar Rahiim

Enjoying the view from the first floor of the masjid

It has been narrated from Aba Abdillah [Imam Ja'far Ibn Muhammad as-Sadiq] (peace be upon him) that he said, "For Allah, the Noble and Grand, there are 120 parts of Mercy around the Kaabah. From these, sixty are for those performing the Tawaf around the Kaabah; forty are for those performing the prayers; and twenty are for those just looking (at the Kaabah)."

We spent most of our time in Makkah in the masjid. Whether performing the prayers, doing tawaf, or just looking, gazing and admiring the Kaabah. For the congregational prayer I usually would go to the first floor of the masjid where it was slightly less crowded. Afterwards I would walk up to the front and join many others standing by the railing to look at the Kaabah. It was such a sight to behold, one that we don't get tired of looking at. I just stood there quietly, and I could feel the deep contentment that came filling my heart and all my worries disappeared.
Masjidil Haram is the only place where we can perform tawaf, so we tried our best to do as many as we can. Sometimes we were able to walk very close to the Kaabah and the feeling was indescribable.

After the tawaf we would slowly eased our way out from the circling crowd to find a place to pray. Prostrating on the bare floor just a few feet away from the Kaabah, I found it hard not to be overwhelmed by emotion, the feeling of closeness to Him was tremendous. I wish that I could remain there prostrating in front of His house.

Being in the masjid also remind me a lot about death. It was very rare that the five prayers would not be followed by janazah prayer (funeral prayer). There were a few times when upon exiting the masjid we were shoved by the side to make way for the people hurriedly carrying the deceased body. And we would see people rushing to take part in carrying the casket even just for a few seconds, while others would paused to make way and show due respect for the deceased. Once, I saw one deceased body that was covered by ihram attire, which means he was called to return to Allah while in the state of ihram. I was down with envy... how lucky that person was, to die in such a blessed state.

As the days of our stay was nearing the end, I kept trying to push aside my emotion, trying to forget the fact that I would soon be leaving this sacred sanctuary. I just want to enjoy the peace and tranquility as much as I can, savoring each moment by listening to the soothing call for prayer and the beautiful melodious recitation from the imam.

On our last day, fajr prayer was the last prayer that we performed in His house. We went early to the masjid, about two hours before the prayer time and the place was already quite full. When the azan was called, it pierced through my grieving heart. The recitation of the imam in the prayer sounded especially soothing that it made me cry.
After the prayer I walked to the front to view the Kaabah as usual. I wish time could stand still and I don't have to leave this place.

About half hour later, we walked slowly to our hotel. We took our breakfast and finish our packing. After loading our luggages at the hotel lobby, we headed to the masjid again for the farewell tawaf.
Ya Allah...I haven't left the place, but I missed it already.
Stepping into the masjid, suddenly it felt so quiet, and the moment we started the tawaf, I just couldn't hold it any longer. I cried and cried...

Ya Allah..
Thank you for your blessings
Thank you for your mercy
Forgive all my sins and my wrongdoings
Ya Allah.. The Most Merciful...
Please accept my prayers, my tawaf, my umrah...
Send me your guidance and your light
Give me strength, courage and patience to face my days ahead
Help me keep my faith to You until the day I breath my last
Amiin..amiin...amiin...
Ya Arhamar raahimiin

Spiritual Journey 2

2011-04-16T20:06:00.002+08:00

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful.
All praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

Our flight from Kuala Lumpur was delayed for two hours. All the passengers were already seated when the pilot announced that we are still waiting for clearance from Yaman airspace authority. And when Yaman denied permission, the route had to be rescheduled. It was a longer route through Oman and an extra two hours would be needed in our journey, therefore the aircraft had to be refueled and another pilot had to be called for duty. The flight from Kuala Lumpur to Jeddah was slightly more than eight hours, and after few hours at Jeddah airport we boarded the bus for another seven hours of journey to Madinah.
We reached Madinah early in the morning that day and sadly we missed the Fajr congregational prayer at the masjid and ended up praying in our hotel room. After breakfast and a brief rest we walked to the masjid.

Outside Masjid an Nabawi

Beneath that green dome he was laid to rest. The mere glimpse of the the green dome brought me to tears.
Assalamualaika Ya Rasulullah..
Assalamualaika Ya Habiballaah..
Allaahumma solli 'ala Muhammad.

Three days in Madinah was too short, but I am thankful that Allah had blessed me the opportunity to visit the raudhah near the Prophet's grave.
It was crowded as usual, but everyone was so engrossed in tearful prayers.

On the third day we headed for Makkah in our ihram attire. The bus journey was about four hours. We reached the vicinity of Masjidil Haram around 11.00pm and I saw the minarets from afar.
How do you feel when you finally meet/see someone you had been missing and longing for years? That was my feeling at that time.

Outside Masjidil Haram at night

The bus stopped at our hotel which was just about 10 minutes away from the masjid. We loaded our luggages and were told to rest in our rooms until the briefing time at 12.15am.

It was around 12.40am when we headed for the masjid to perform our umrah.
The breathtaking sight of the masjid and the kaabah filled my heart with happiness, humility and peace, all mixed together.
I felt a lump in my throat as I recited the prayer, and tears rolled down my cheek.
Subhaanallah...
Alhamdulillah...
Allahuakbar...
Thank you Allah, for receiving me as your guest again here, in this place that I had missed so dearly.

The crowd circling the kaabah was quite packed but the cool temperature was comforting. Somehow it felt really cold afterwards when we were doing our saie.
We completed the umrah rituals; the tawaf and saie in about two and a half hours. Only then when we were outside the masjid I saw on the screen that the temperature was actually19 degrees celcius. No wonder we were trembling.
We walked around the masjid slowly and quietly carrying our tired body and feet, but our hearts were so at peace. I felt so at home in His house.
We were looking for the restroom and realized that the place had changed so much since our last visit. We had to ask the policeman for the direction.
The time for Fajr prayer was just another two hours, so we decided to stay on at the masjid for fear that we might miss the prayer all together if we return to rest at our hotel room. After the first call for Fajr prayer we went our separate ways. My husband headed to the man's section and I went to the woman's to wait for Fajr prayer. I tried hard to remain awake while waiting for the second call of prayer, I was really tired and sleepy.

We went straight to our hotel after the prayer, had our breakfast and went to bed.
We slept like logs and only woke up three hours later.
Alhamdulillah...all praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

Spiritual Journey

2011-03-22T11:36:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum all,

Today I will be leaving for the holy land Madinah and Makkah for umrah.
I sincerely would like to apologize to all my readers for any shortcomings in my writings.
I need your prayers and I shall be praying for all of you too, InshaAllah.

I hope to come back as a stronger person, a better muslim.
May Allah blessed us all.
Amiin..Ya Arhamar raahimiin.

Thank You for Your Kindness

2011-03-18T22:10:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I was in a hospital for blood transfusion.
I had been suffering with severe anemia for a long time, and yesterday my doctor decided that I need to be given two pints of blood. The worst that can happen to an anemic is heart failure because the heart has to pump harder and faster to compensate for the decreased oxygen levels in the body.

O Positive

I never knew that and was kind of shock when the doctor told me.
All these while, besides looking pale most of the time and feeling lethargic on certain days of the month, my condition doesn't really have any undesirable effect on my daily activities.

Alhamdulillah...all praise be to Allah, I was able to function normally even with such a low hemoglobin level.

As I was being prepared for the procedure, my mind wondered. The blood that I would be receiving must have came from a donor. My blood type is usually called as universal donor, because anyone with any blood type can receive it. But I never had a chance to be a blood donor, I am not qualified.

The procedure took almost the whole day and I took the opportunity to read a book while waiting.Once in a while, I looked at the blood dropping slowly into the tube.
I was thinking how I would never had a chance to thank the person who donated this blood.
The donor never knew that his/her act of kindness had help me to become healthier. He/she might not even felt anything much while donating the blood.
But I am now forever indebted to him/her.

I was also thinking how much our life depend on others. Other people's help and kindness. I am so grateful that we still have kind people who are willing to give and never ask for any return, not even a word of thanks.

I was actually preparing for a long journey. I will be traveling again next week and this blood transfusion is part of my preparation for the journey. My doctor was worried that I would not be strong enough to perform the rituals required in my journey, so she prepared me for the procedure. And now I want to repay the kindness of the donor.
I pray to Allah that whoever had donated the blood would be rewarded by Him. May Allah guide him/her, protect him/her and blessed his/her life in this world and the hereafter.
I believe from every single drop of blood that was given to me, for every reward that I hope Allah would bestow on me for my worship, the same reward would also be granted to him/her.
And, when I reach my destination next week, InshaAllah, I shall pray again for him/her.
I would be praying in the two holiest masjid in the world.
I would be praying in His house.
I would be praying as His guest.

Labbaikallah humma labbaik...
Labbaika laasyariika laka labbaik..

Lest We Forget

2011-03-12T09:44:00.004+08:00

March 11, 2011.
A massive 8.9 magnitude earthquake has hit the northeast coast of Japan triggering a 30-foot tsunami.

A powerful earthquake not only shakes the earth but it shakes our hearts.
Not only triggers an enormous tsunami, but triggers fear and apprehension even to the most powerful man.

How many times had these happened?
How many lives had been lost?
How many cities had been flatten?

We read the news, we read the stories about disasters not only in the internet, not only in newspapers, but also in history books.
We also read the story in the holy book, a book revealed more than 1400 years ago.
The book tells us about previous civilization, which possibly could be far greater than our current civilization, the people vanished from the surface of the earth, within minutes, within hours.

We are afraid of earthquake, we are terrified by tsunami.
But, we forget the Creator of earthquake, the Creator of tsunami.
The earthquake rocks our lives, the tsunami engulfs our worlds...left people in despair.
But, we forget The Creator of everything, Al Khaliq.

We are afraid of the earthquake and tsunami, why are we not afraid of HIM?
The earthquake is powerful, the tsunami is gigantic,
but He is Al Jabbar, The Compeller
He is Al Qahhar, The Subduer
And we also forget, He is Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim, The Beneficient, The Merciful.

Ya Allah
Ya Rahmaan Ya Rahiim
We beg for your forgiveness Ya Ghaffar
The earthquake is submitting to You,
The tsunami is under Your command,
This is a reminder from You
That You ARE the Greatest of all,
That You make all the plans
That You HAVE all the control..
This is a reminder from You
That ONLY to You we must submit
Only to You we must worship

Ya Allah
Turunkanlah rahmat dan kasih sayangMu
Kepada hamba-hambaMu yang lalai ini
Ampunilah dosa-dosa dan kesalahan kami
Ya Arhamar raahimiin.

I Luv Islam

2011-03-09T22:02:00.003+08:00

It was a busy weekend but we just couldn't miss it. We didn't know the speaker, but reading his background was enough to convince us that it is going to be an enlightening and inspiring talk.
Our heartfelt thanks goes to the team of iLuvislam who extended the invitation for us to attend the program.

The keynote address was given by the CEO of Kumpulan Karangkraf Sdn. Bhd, one of the leading publishing house in Malaysia. A humble man with cheerful exterior, Dato' Hussamuddin bin Hj Yaacub shared with us, an audience which consisted of mostly young generation, about his life journey. He singled out his parents as the one who played the fundamental role in designing his success.
"The reading habit that my parents inculcate in me was the basic foundation that makes me who I am today", he said. And he continued on describing his childhood and how reading became his main source of knowledge and creativity in solving problems.

Imran Koyube, the president of iLuvislam gave an impressive presentation after the keynote address.
Subhaanallah...May Allah give him the strength to continue in his endeavor in using the media of iLuvislam to infect the young generation with the love for Islam. Viral daawah was the term that this former medical student coined to describe the method that he used to spread the beauty of Islam through media. The message of Islam was spread through the cyberspace like a virus infecting our computer. His love for Islam is clearly demonstrated in his work through iLuvislam, and I was deeply moved when he said that the only driving force behind it is the promise of Jannah from Allah. MasyaAllah...

When the invited speaker, Sheikh Yawar Baig took the stage after Imran's presentation, he began with a prayer for Imran, a special prayer that pierced deep into my heart. The learned sheikh said,"I pray that you'll continue to be sincere in your effort and always remain connected to Allah, and may Allah protect you from the evil of wealth and fame". It made me realized that in our journey, not only that we have to aim for success but we must also seek protection from the danger of success.

Sheikh Yawar Baig gave a very inspiring talk. I've learned so much from him within a relatively short time. He stressed on the importance of education in producing excellent leaders. It is very unfortunate that nowadays education is reduced to gaining knowledge and acquiring paper qualification for a chosen career, to make a living. The main purpose of education is to build character, hence education is for life not merely for a living.
While Dato' Hussamuddin kept on stressing that success is by design, not accidental, Sheikh Yawar Baig continued in the same tone that successful leadership is the result of investing thoughts, time and resources consistently in pursuit of a vision that spans generation.
We cannot simply be nostalgic about the glory that the Muslim once had in the eyes of the world, but the time has come for us to create new history. We forgot that Islam came not to imitate others, but to set standard. A standard that would ensure success not only in this world but more importantly in the hereafter as stated in the Qur'an,
"Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah an excellent exemplar for him who hopes in Allah and the latter day(hereafter) and remembers Allah much" (Al-Ahzab:21)
Our standard had been set to such a noble degree as portrayed by our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW.

Again, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Wan Mohd Firdaus Wan Yusof, the Head of Events and Training of iLuvislam who sent us the invitation email.
May Allah blessed all your effort and guide you always. It was definitely a very meaningful day for us.
Alhamdulillah.

Note: The above posting gave a very brief content of a leadership program organized by iLuvislam. I am aware that it doesn't do enough justice to the intent of the event, but I certainly hope that it has given you an impetus in the credence that learning never ends.

Take Five...

2011-03-08T16:08:00.000+08:00

Man of Character

2011-03-04T08:22:00.008+08:00

University of Granada, Spain.

The world is held up by four pillars: The Wisdom of the Learned, the Justice of the Great, the Prayers of the Righteous and the Valour of the Brave.
(Dunia ini dibangunkan di atas empat tiang utama: Kebijaksanaan para Ilmuan, Keadilan para Pemimpin, Doa para Solihin dan Keberanian para Pahlawan)
Those inspiring words are the inscription at the entrance of University of Granada in Spain, a university which foundation was laid by Muslim.

Wisdom, Justice, Faith and Bravery were the foundation of the Muslim society that ruled Spain for almost 800 years. Tariq ibn Ziyad came to Spain to liberate her from the cruelty of the Visighotic rule and consequently Spain bloomed into a beautiful golden era that eventually lead to the Renaissance in Europe. The history of the world was profoundly influenced by the Muslim Spain whose society placed education at the highest priority in developing the nation.
When the last Muslim ruler was finally driven out of Granada (the last city to fall) in 1492, he looked back his shoulder and wept. His mother's bitter words are remembered until today: "It is well that you should weep like a woman for a city you would not defend as a man!" It was indeed painful to read this history.

Thomb of Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh

At that time, in Turkey, the great ruler of the Ottoman empire, Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh had passed away. Sultan Muhammad was a living example of a person with the four qualities in one person, a wise learned man, a just ruler, a righteous servant and a brave warrior. It was reported that during his reign the pious Sultan had tried to help Spain but it was not meant to be. Eleven years after he died, Muslim Spain fell to the Christians.

In contrast to the fall of Muslim Spain, the history of the conquest of Constantinople in 1453 was legendary. Sultan Muhammad definitely deserve the title of the great commander as described in the hadith. The commander who lead a great army of 250,000 people.

Learning was a substantial part of Sultan Muhammad's upbringing. Besides his ability to memorize the Qur'an before the age of 8, he was also multilingual. Sheikh Aq Shams al-Din, one of the scholars who supervised his upbringing and education succeeded in inculcating the spirit of jihaad to the young Muhammad that he grew up to be very devoted to jihaad, highly ambitious, widely cultured, and had a deep knowledge of the skills of war and combat.
So deep was the influence that the teacher had on him that after the conquest of Constantinople, Sultan Muhammad said that it was not him who conquered the city, but his teacher, Sheikh Aq Shams al-din.

After almost 700 years ruling a vast empire that covered three continents, Asia, Africa and Europe, in 1922, the Ottoman caliphate was dissolved.

Reading the history of Muslim Spain and the Ottoman caliphate is both inspiring and heartbreaking. Both nations suffered the humiliation of falling from grace when they began to lead a materialistic way of life devoid of spiritual strength.
Any nation can grow and progress into glory for as long as the nation is blessed with great leadership and is founded by strong principle with education as the main priority in producing the human capital. Wisdom, justice, faith and bravery are the essential foundation of a great leadership. Besides, the leaders must be a firm believer in Allah and not be blinded by the glitter of power and wealth of this temporary world.

They are not just a man of power, but a man of character.

Note: This entry is written after the writer attended 'Seminar Baldatun Tayyibah', organized by Persatuan Ulama' Selangor, recently. The writer wish to apologize for any error or inaccurate details that may occur here. Please feel free to give any comments.

The Youth

2011-02-14T17:08:00.004+08:00

Wael Ghonim

The events that unfolded in Egypt has brought inspirations to many.
With the advancement in technology, the whole world was able to see and feel together with the courageous Egyptians. And in the end, as they celebrated, we all share the sense of relief, pride and utter happiness together with them.

What makes it more special is the fact that the peaceful demonstration, joined by Egyptians from all walks of life, was lead by activists who are young, tech savvy and highly educated.
History has shown that any significant changes (towards better or worse) in any nation had to be strongly supported if not lead by the youth of the nation. Being young, vibrant and energetic, the youth are precious asset that any nation can take pride in if they are of excellent quality.
Hence, educating the youth is crucial for any nation.

May Allah continues to give me strength and patience in my career as an educator of the youth.
I was not trying to motivate them for any kind of revolution, but I was just trying to be persistent in reminding them about taking their education seriously.
Education is the way to be a better person, a better Muslim.
I had to remind them again and again, about the nobleness of seeking knowledge, and that every single step that they take is recorded as part righteous deeds that will be rewarded by Him.

It was by no means of coincidence that the first command sent down to mankind was
"Read, in the name of your Lord..", ( AlAlaq:1)
followed by,
"Nuun, by the pen and what they inscribe.." (Al Qalam:1)

Students had to be reminded that the books that they bought are not only to be carried around, or a mere decoration on their study tables, but to be read. Reading should be their main activity.
Students had to be reminded that in order to achieve good result, in order to gain blessed knowledge, they must take the right path in learning. There is no shortcuts. They must take the long difficult road.
They must be sincere, humble and have due respect to their teachers.
I have no qualms about students who are weak, or having difficulties in understanding a lesson, but I can't tolerate students who are rude, arrogant and dishonest.
I insisted on the adab and ethic in learning from the very first day. For only with proper adab that learning will be blessed and hence the knowledge gained becomes the light that shines our way in life.

I am thankful to Allah that among my students, there are still some who are visionary, and had a profound understanding of their purpose in life. Not many of them though, only a handful.
It is always a pleasure to meet these kind of students, a pleasure to have them in my class. You can recognize them from their humbleness and deep respect to their teachers. Their works are always up to date, with full class attendance, very serious and attentive in class. They have grown into a well-disciplined, responsible and mature students.

I can't help but admire them. They had been blessed with the strength and courage in facing the temptation and attraction of the current decadent 'youth culture'.
They are not behind in any technology, and they use it for the right purpose. They are not consumed by endless entertainment and pursuing fun in life, because they choose to lead a meaningful honorable life even if it's a difficult one.
They are youth with character.
These are the kind of youth that I believe can be trusted with great leadership in the future.
May Allah's blessings and mercy be with them always. Amiin..

Thank You Allah

2011-02-12T12:00:00.001+08:00

Subhaanallah...
Alhamdulillah...
Allahu akbar!

To all my brothers and sisters in Egypt, to all Egyptians in all parts of the world...
My heartiest congratulation to all of you.
After 18 days of peaceful demonstration, after the last Friday prayer with one imam leading 2 million people, Tahrir Square had become the witness of the dawn of a new era.

Alhamdulillah...All praise be to Allah.

You can view the interactive map from here.

It's in the Mind

2011-01-16T22:39:00.001+08:00

One of the strange capability of our mind is what I call as being selective.

Let's say, we are planning to buy a red dress, and we begin to focus our thought into finding a nice red dress.
All of the sudden we would begin to notice the red dress that our friend is wearing. Then we also notice the red dress worn by that cute girl in the TV commercial, the red suit worn by the news presenter, the red dress in the newspaper advertisement... we begin to notice red dresses everywhere. And not only red dresses, but red car, red pencil, red shoes, red books...
Our mind has the ability to form and grow the thoughts that creates awareness to our surrounding that we had never realized before.

Another issue is about our first impression. Our mind has the ability to recognize certain situation within a split second and immediately make up our mind about it, and sometimes an instantaneous action would follow.

Unfortunately, there are times when we make mistake. Our instinct betray us. Our snap judgement is wrong. That usually happen when we have prejudice, or having a negative perspective.
Sometimes the look, or the skin colour, or the dressing of a person can lead us to being prejudice. We could be right or could be gravely wrong in making our judgment about the person. There are many cases involving death of innocent victims of prejudice, such as the death of Amadou Diallo in 1999. A young black man, he was shot to death 41 times simply because he seemed to 'look' dangerous. The police mistakenly thought that he was reaching for a gun in his pocket when he was actually trying to take his wallet.

Speed of thoughts is as fast if not faster than the speed of light. Our thoughts can instantly go very far, deep and intense, if we do not establish some control. Thoughts lead to intention, intention lead to action, and repeated action will turn into a habit.
Hence, we cannot afford to have negative thoughts.
If we begin our day by having negative thoughts, soon enough everything will BE negative.
Everything looks bad. And it could lead us into making a deadly mistake.

These past few weeks, I have been very judgmental. Somebody had warned me about being careful and watchful about certain people. But I've discovered that the line between being 'careful' and being prejudice is very thin. And my whole world had been surrounded by negativity.

And I realized that my judgement had been distorted by the 'negative eyeglasses' that I've been wearing. I only saw the negatives. Problems after problems came.
It's like the red dress. I've been thinking so much about the red dress, and I've been seeing red everywhere ever since.
I've become so frustrated and the frustration turned into anger. And the anger has weaken me.
Alhamdulillah...praise be to Allah...He had release me from the burdening anger. Alhamdulillah...
My problems are still there, and I have no idea how to solve it.
But my anger is gone, by the mercy and blessings from Allah, the cloud has been lifted.

My mind, my thoughts need guidance, a divine guidance.

"Alif laam miim. This is the Book, in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear God..."
(Al Baqarah: 1-2)

Ya Allah, Ya Hadi, Ya Nuur,
Guide me to your light
Guide my heart, my thoughts, my mind...
Guide me in every single steps that I take
Please guide me Ya Allah..
Amiin...Ya Rabbal Aalamiin.

The Burden

2011-01-06T10:26:00.001+08:00

I want to learn about patience.
And Allah send me the module, in the form of challenges.
There were just too many outbursts, so much anger inside. Each time I went home, sitting alone, thinking, contemplating...the words came back to me.
"There must be a reason why Allah choose YOU to face this.." my friend said.
I accept that, reluctantly at first. Then later, when it finally sank in, my tears flew like a river.
What am I suppose to do? I am helpless. I do have the right to be angry, don't I?
But this anger is so heavy in my heart. It's just too heavy to bear, so painful.
I need time. Take five. No, take nine. Nine days off.

Ready to start new. New perception, new enthusiasm.
Then it came back, a double blow. Should I scream at the top of my lungs? No, I can't, I don't know how.
The anger came back, like a fire burning rapidly.
Ya Allah... I know you are listening..
I am powerless to make the change. I leave it to You Ya Allah...
Ya Allah... please free me from this burden of anger.

Thank you Allah, The Most Merciful.
There are things that I can't change
There are things that I can change.
I choose to change what I can.
Help me Ya Allah ...
If I can't change the things out there...
Help me to change the things in here
Release me Ya Allah..from this torment and misery..that anger has brought me.

Ya Allah
Ku mohon kepadaMu

Ampunkan dosaku
Maafkan kesalahanku
Setiap kali aku memungkiri taubatku
Ampunkan lah aku sekali lagi
Ku serahkan segala urusanku kepadaMu Ya Allah
Kerana aku tak mampu merubah hati manusia
Maka ubahlah hatiku Ya Allah
Jadikan lah hatiku seumpama taman yang indah
Taman yang penuh kedamaian
Taman yang subur menghijau
Taman yang harum dan dingin
Padamkanlah Ya Allah..
Api kemarahan yang merusak taman hatiku
Amiin..Ya Arhamarraahimiin...

Disfigured Soul

2010-12-31T15:00:00.004+08:00

It's Friday already. My one week break is almost over.
I've been looking forward for the break, I had so many things planned.
I had planned to work in the garden. The rainy season has made the weeds grow faster.
I also planned to clear up some long abandon clutter in my closet.

Somehow the plan did not materialize.
I've been consulting my teacher in my attempt of figuring out some long unresolved issues.
As usual my teacher maintained the same advice that she had always given me. "Be watchful of your heart, any wrong intention, your heart and your soul suffer the consequence, you need to cleanse your heart".
I know that. I do.

And I've been reading.
One of the books that I read is a memoir. The story of a convict who had to spend a year in prison for bank fraud. Nothing quite unusual, except that the prison shared buildings with a leprosaruim, a hospital that serve as the home for leprosy patients.

Leprosy, a disease considered the most shameful to man, to the extent that patients had to be quarantined for life. Leprosy patients usually would suffer disfigured hands, foot, nose, even blindness, depending on how severe their disease is. Na'uzubillahi midzalik..
Reading the book made me realized that we are always afraid of a physical disease because not only that it is painful, it also bring about some undesired change in our physical look. A disease make us look pale, weak, and in the worst case, disfigured limbs. It is all the opposite of anything attractive. We are so afraid of losing our physical beauty.

We tried to avoid any disease by leading a healthy life style. We keep our body, our homes clean. We shun away from any infectious environment.

But we forgot about our deeds. Because, unlike any disease, our deeds, good or bad, will not have any visible effect on our look. Our physical beauty remain intact even after committing an ugly sinful act.
We always forget about our soul. Our soul suffers with every sin we committed, our soul disfigured.

Upon finishing the book, I felt so ashamed.
The weeds in my garden are not as bad as the weeds in my heart. The clutter in my closet is not as damaging as my cluttered mind. The anger, hatred and pride that continue lurking in my heart and mind had definitely disfigured my soul. My poor soul is suffering.
I don't have any disfigured limbs, Alhamdulillah... but only He knows how disfigured my soul is. And it will be exposed on the day of judgement.
Astaghfirullaah..
I desperately need forgiveness from Him, Al Ghaffar.
And I need to forgive.

Laailaaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zoolimiin.

At The Market

2010-12-26T22:29:00.006+08:00

Recently at a shopping complex.

"Look at all these Christmas decoration...there must be many Christians in these area..."

"No..lah...not because of that, last time during Hari Raya they had Raya decoration here.."

"Yup, that's right..Deepavali decoration, Chinese New Year.."

"Shopping complex has no religion..."

"Ha..ha..you are right"

"Their religion is money"

The place that Allah likes most is the masjid, and the place that Allah dislikes most is the market.

(Hadith by Muslim)

A reminder to myself to recite a lot of zikr upon entering such places.

To HIM We Return

2010-12-19T07:50:00.003+08:00

I've noticed that his blog had not been updated for quite sometime. Knowing his condition, I thought may be he is just too weak or too sick to write. Or, may be he is busy, because even at his condition he is still actively involved in dakwah activities.

Last night, while blog walking I stumbled upon the news.
Mas Afzal is no longer with us. He has returned to HIM, The Most Merciful.
I never knew him personally, but his writings are so dear to me.
I felt like I've lost a brother.
After my previous posting, I was thinking that I want to write something funny or cheerful in my next post. But no...it was not meant to be.

My deepest condolence to his family and loved ones.
May he rest in peace among the faithful believers.
Al Faatihah.

Winter Sonata

2010-12-16T21:58:00.019+08:00

It's December.

The northen hemisphere is now in the midst of winter.

Reading the news about snow storm, blizzard and white Christmas, remind me of my last winter in Canada.
It was my final semester as an undergraduate.

Canadian winter is long and cold. And my last winter there was especially 'long and cold', not because the temperature was colder than usual, but rather it was my heart that was cold.

I had never wanted to go that far away from my family.

I would be happy enough if I could get a place in any of the university in my own country.

But, Allah had a better plan for me. I still remember how my father told me that I should accept the offer to go half way around the globe to continue my studies, and I accepted the offer because of him. I remembered telling myself, "There'll be snow in Canada..."
That's my only motivation. Nothing else.

Alhamdulillah...Praise be to Allah. I had a wonderful time in Canada. I enjoyed the four seasons very much. I enjoyed studying with my friends whom I had considered as my family. With the technology of those days, my communication with families back home was just letters and phone calls, which was very limited. Letters took days to reach the destination and phone calls were expensive. My friends were my family.

My final semester was enjoyable since I only had one course left. Besides attending class, we took time playing in the snow, and took many photos. I was also getting ready to leave the country for good. My flight home had been set and I looked forward to return to my family.

Then it was time for the final exam. It was a small classroom. They were all my classmates, less than 20 of us, all very cheerful. It's our last paper.

But the cheerful mood soon ended and my confidence crushed while answering the questions. I was trying my best to control my nervousness.

When it was over, the whole class were talking in frustration. I was not alone after all, everyone was caught by surprised at how tough the questions were, including the smart Chinese boy whom we always made reference to for our assignments.

I walked out of the class with three other good friends of mine. My heart sank at the thought of failing the course. I've done my best, I've scored 92% for my course work (I still remember that). Suddenly the images of my father and my mother came to my mind. What if...what if I failed...I would be leaving without a degree in my hands...how disappointed they would be??

Slowly, tears began to roll from my eyes as the four of us walked out of the building. And as we began walking on the thick snow, it felt very cold and my heart was even colder. The floodgate had opened and I started crying.

My friends were trying their best to comfort me, but I was inconsolable. I cried and cried all the way until we reached our apartment. It was the saddest and coldest 20 minutes walk that I've ever had in my life.

The days that followed were very hard for me and the cold weather made it worse. Each time I saw the snow falling outside my window, a feeling of sadness came. Looking at the surrounding, all covered in white, day after day made me teary eyed. And as the month of January ended the temperature turned even colder. February is the coldest month.

However, I am thankful to Allah, He had blessed me with very good friends. They had been my sources of comfort. Together, we made special prayer for me and for my success in the exam, we read the Quran and had discussion. They even helped me made the call to the Malaysian Student Department to delay my flight until my result is out and my graduation is therefore confirmed. They reminded me that I've done my best. We had studied together in a group, spend some sleepless nights doing the assignments. It's time to leave everything to Allah. Let Him decide what's best for us.

Alhamdulillah...Praise be to Allah...

Of all the lessons that I've learned in my five years in Canada, that was the one I remembered most.

I've learned that our life is a test. All we have to do is to try our best. It's not about achievement or failure, it's all about the struggle and being patient. Whatever the outcomes, if we had tried our best, our heart will be at peace. Whatever the outcomes, it is for the best. We had our plan, but Allah is the best planner.

As my life continued on, days, months, years after that day, I understand that Allah was preparing me for bigger, harder tests ahead.

I have to be strong. True success can't be measured by material gain, not even social gain. But true success is when we are contented with what we have and what we don't have.

I've learned to be thankful with the little that I have, in the hope that Allah will be please with the little that I've done.

One of my teachers said, "Paradise is not for people who 'succeded' or 'failed' in their effort, but for those who have patience and had tried their best"
Yes, how true that is. The Quran says that one of the greetings that will be heard by the people of paradise upon entering the blissfull abode would be:

"Salaamun alaikum..bima sobartum"

Peace be upon you, for your patience.

The Heart - 2

2010-12-11T16:51:00.023+08:00

We've never been to IJN before.

This is our first time.

I've always marvel at the fact that we have a special institution for our hearts, which obviously means that it is the most important organ in our body.

We could be lying motionless, unable to respond to any kind of stimulus, but as long as our heart still beating, we are still alive.

Death can only confirmed at the moment when our heart stopped.

We went to visit the twins. The doctors had planned to have the surgery for both of them at the same time. But then, after realizing how so much alike they both looked, the doctors changed their minds. It's just too risky to have a confusion during such a major surgery.

This is Amjad Bahzi(left). He went in first, on Wednesday. The doctors had briefed the parents that normally, such patient would have to stay in the ICU for three days before being transferred to the normal ward.

However, in less than six hours after surgery, while in the ICU, his progress was so tremendous that all the wires and tubes were taken off completely. He was then transferred to the normal ward the very next day.

Subhanallah...Alhamdulillah...

Amjad Ghazi(left) went in on Thursday. It was another successful surgery, and Alhamdulillah... after 24 hours he was out from the ICU. When we visited him today, I thought he was the one who had the surgery first because he looked more cheerful than his brother.

I have to admit, I still can't tell who is who simply by looking at their face.

They had been progressing well, Alhamdulillah.

It was me who felt worried looking at them walking about.

"How does it feel when you walk?" I asked Ghazi.

"It hurts..." He responded slowly but still looking very calm.

Their innocent faces showed the strong faith that they have in their hearts. The mother told me that they had been reciting selawat non-stop before the surgery. They just love the Prophet SAW so much. Seconds before they were put to sleep for the surgery, they were guided by their parents to say a special prayer. After reciting the syahadah they were taught to sincerely accept and surrender to Allah's will.

To my dear Bahzi and Ghazi,

May Allah accept your sincere prayers

May Allah make your hearts stronger

Never forget that Allah is always near

Never forget that Prophet Muhammad SAW loves us very much and that he heard your selawat...

To all the twins

Dear Azri, Bahzi, Fitri and Ghazi

May Allah's blessings and mercy be with you always

May Allah guide you in every step that you take

May Allah fill your hearts with Islam, Imaan and Ihsan

Amiin...

The Heart

2010-12-05T12:57:00.008+08:00

I had not been able to find anything worthy to write until my husband told me about it this morning. " We'll be having a special prayer for the twins at our masjid tonight..."

They are just eight years old, but they are the darlings of our masjid. You see them all the time at the masjid, so those who frequent the masjid would surely recognize them.

They are not twins actually, but quadruplets. The sons of my dearest friend.

A few months back, two of them had been found to have hole in their hearts.

They will be admitted to the National Heart Institute this monday to undergo heart surgery on wednesday.

The mother told me that the two boys had been quite excited about the surgery, preparing their bags and asking a lot of questions.

"May be they thought that it's like going for a holiday...!" I said to her.

"Yes...I am worried that they have a misconception about the whole thing..." she replied, and then continued. "But I've already made it clear to them, that this is a surgery, the doctor will cut open your chest...and you know what they said?"

I was amazed to hear about their reply.

They said to the mother, " We are a bit scared... but Ummi, didn't our Prophet (SAW) had his chest open too when he was a child? We are following his sunnah then..."

MasyaAllah...

They might have hole in their hearts, the physical heart that is. But their hearts, the spiritual hearts, obviously are in perfect condition.

How does a mother feel when not one, but two of her dear sons had to go through a major surgery at such a tender age, both at the same time?

She had gone through so much in her life with her thirteen children, but she had always been strong. Her faith had been tested many times, and yet she had been able to stand tall, all through out the journey, and I believe her faith had become stronger.

My dear friend, my sister... I might not be able to be there with you. But my prayers will. InsyaAllah, everyone in the masjid had prayed today, we made the du'a especially for them. We all love them, we would miss them, and we would love to see them again at the masjid.

My dear sister, I know you are strong, but when life gets too difficult for you to stand... kneel down on your knees, place your forehead on the ground in front of Allah, The Most Merciful.

He is always there, very close to you.

And when your heart becomes weary, let your tears wash away the burden, in your long sujud...

May the mercy and blessings of Allah be with you and your family.

Amiin.

Rindu, Teramat Rindu

2010-11-21T17:09:00.009+08:00

It's that time of the year again.

I used to wonder, why do people say that you will miss the place so much.

So much that it could bring tears.

So much that you would want to come again and again.

A kind of longing that can't be truly fulfilled.

A kind of gravitational force. A spiritual one.

But now I understand.

The experience was a very personal one.

I was motionless, speechless, too overwhelmed by the sight.

The first time that I laid my eyes on you, the beautiful Kaabah, I savored the moment with tears.

Subhaanallah...

Alhamdulillah...

Allahu Akbar!

The aura of grandeur that filled the air made me feel so insignificant.

I stood there together with million others, but I felt so alone.

Walking inside the grand masjid, I felt so blessed that it was the very place where our beloved prophet SAW and his companions had once walked upon. Not only him, but also Prophet Ibrahim AS and Prophet Ismail AS. Thousands of years ago, Prophet Ibrahim AS made the call, and there I was. Alhamdulillah... I've made the journey to answer his call.

And when it was time to leave, my heart broke, and my only wish was...that I would be able to come again.

And then, the other masjid.

That lovely green dome, beneath which laid the most honorable man on earth, the best creature.

The man I've never met, never spoken to, never heard his voice... but somehow his pure love and gentleness can be felt in this City of Light.

The masjid that he humbly built greeted me with such tenderness, Rahmatan lil Aalamiin was welcoming me, a mere sinful being.

Allahumma solli 'ala Muhammad.

"Assalamualaika Ya Rasulullah... here I am...my dearly beloved.." I remembered whispering. Stood there at the maqam, where he was laid to rest beside his two best companions, I felt so ashamed of myself.

Again, I felt so blessed and yet so alone.

And the time to bid him farewell was most heart wrenching.

Ya Allah... please allow me to visit him again.

Yes. Now I understand.

Why...

2010-11-09T14:47:00.004+08:00

You asked me why?

Why do you feel lonely?

We ARE alone in this world. We came here alone.

What about our family? Aren't they a part of us?

No..they are only a part of us in THIS world. This ephemeral world.

When the time come, that we have to leave this world, we will go alone.

Our family, the ones who love us most, they will send us, but we will go alone.

How sad that is...

Yes...this is a temporary world.

Do not attached yourself to something that won't last. You will be disappointed.

HE promised us an eternal happiness later.

Be brave. Be strong.

This is a journey. But not without a guide.

Read the Guide Book.

Find Him.

The Most Merciful, The Most Loving.

Ya Rahmaan

Ya Rahiim

Please hear me.

La Historia De La Esperanza

2010-10-15T20:10:00.014+08:00

It was definitely an emotional moment when I watched the live telecast of the Chile mine rescue from Twitterfeed.

I had been following the updates since August about the delicate rescue operation of the 33 Chilean miners who were trapped alive more than 2,300 feet below the earth surface.

On Wednesday, October 13,2010, after 69 days of harrowing ordeal they were finally able to breathe the fresh air when all of them were successfully rescued.

Alhamdulillah...

All praise be to Allah...

Millions around the world watched with teary eyes as one by one, the miners emerged from the rescue capsule. It wasn't just a rescue, many felt that it was a spiritual experience, as admitted by one of the miners' relatives.

And the Chilean president Sebastian Pinera said that, "Chile is not the same country that it was 69 days ago,"

An excerpt from one of the news website graphically describe the situation at the end of the rescue:

01.53am: He's out! Mr Urzua, the last of Los 33, has been brought up into the fresh night air. Jubilant celebrations erupt across Camp Hope and the country as the Phoenix 2 capsule emerges to screams, cheers and euphoria from the waiting crowd. One thousand balloons are released into the night sky as Chile's national anthem plays. Flags are waving furiously, not a dry eye at the San Jose mine.

Allah is Most Merciful. His mercy knows no boundaries.
One of the miners confessed that he has never prayed before in his life, but he learned to pray in the darkness of the mine, as there's no one else he could turn to during those helpless moments. I believe that he had prayed sincerely to the One God.

Life is never the same again for them.
The miners had found the light at the end of the tunnel,literally. They had been liberated.
I hope and pray that one day, they will find the true light that will guide them in the darkness of life.
I pray that after sincerely praying to the One God, one day they will find the one way of life chosen by the One God, Allah, our Merciful Creator. The One who had saved them from the darkness of the mine.
I hope they will find the light of Islam.
Only with Islam would they be truly liberated.
Islam is the truth and only the truth can set them free.
Ameen..

".....This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your way of life ....."

(Al Maidah: 3)

Read here.

Demi Kalam....

2010-10-02T06:57:00.009+08:00

Nun. Demi kalam, dan apa yang mereka tuliskan...

Nun. By the pen, and what they inscribe..

( Al-Qalam:1)

Life is short. When I leave this world, not many people would still remember me. And after a few years, those who knew me would have died too and no one alive in this world would have any memory of me.

My concern is not about weather my life would be remembered or forgotten.
My concern is about making my life meaningful.
There are people whose legacy still remain long after they died.
I have always been envious of some people who have been blessed with writing skill. The books they wrote remain in circulation, read by generations. They are still teaching others, through their writing, long after they have gone physically.
These pious scholars continue to reap the reward from their graves.

I decided to write this blog after contemplating for a long time on the pros and cons. I am not a trained writer, neither a skilled one. My English is flawed, my Malay is imperfect. But I believe a good writer do not simply rely on flawless grammar.
Those pious writers were known to seek guidance from Him, Al Hadi, The One who Guide, before they wrote their books. Hence, the books were not just a mere reading material that we read for leisure. The books became sources of strength and motivation, the words became alive guiding the readers to right path in life.
When I decided to write this blog, it wasn't just about sharing my thoughts. It was part of my effort to emulate these exceptional writers albeit in a very small scale.

I met my teacher yesterday and I was reminded yet again about the importance of sincere heart. It all begins from the heart.
Any action should come from sincere heart.
Alhamdulillah... Now I understand that those writers did not write in a confined language, be it Arabic, English or Malay. The books they wrote could have been translated to several other languages, and yet the beauty and appeal remains.
Why?
Their writings came from pure sincere heart, using the universal language.

The language of the heart.

To all my readers,
Thank you for reading. I hope that you have found some small minuscule benefit in my writing. I am fully aware that I am accountable for all the words and sentences that I wrote. I could be rewarded or punished for my writing.
My writing could have given you positive influence. But, may Allah forgive me if it had given you a negative one.
All the good writings were blessed inspiration from Him.
The mistakes and errors are solely mine.

As the month of Syawal nearing the end, I hope it's still not too late for me to wish all of you Eid Mubarak. And most importantly, I hereby seek your forgiveness for all the shortcomings in my writing.

Do correct me when I am wrong.

I might not know some of you out there, but I am sure Allah knows. Please always include me in your prayers.
Thank you every one.

Missing You

2010-09-29T21:21:00.003+08:00

Life is just not the same without you.

Just as I thought before. It's been difficult to keep up with the routine. It's challenging, very.

I miss those days. I miss those quiet, peaceful moments at the masjid.

You were indeed a blessing from Him. What if I don't get the chance to meet you again?

It had been only a few weeks, but it's just so different without you.

I am suppose to be a better person after I met you. Am I?

Ramadan, I miss you so dearly.

Going Home

2010-09-15T17:21:00.016+08:00

The end of ramadan is the time when most of us would be heading home to celebrate hari raya. A joyous occasion, the time to be home with our family and love ones.

But where is our 'home' exactly? People say, home is where the heart is. If that is the case, then I am blessed to have a few places which I could dearly call home.

We went home to Muar this time. The plan was to stay in Muar until Sunday, then we would be leaving home to Shah Alam before heading home to Ipoh. After a few days in Ipoh, we would be leaving back home to Shah Alam.

That was the plan.

However, Allah is the best planner.

We left to Muar as planned, and on the second day of syawal, we visited an uncle, a younger brother of my father. This uncle had just recently lost his young daughter in law (during ramadan). She left behind a four month old baby, her first child. It was definitely not the usual cheerful mood of hari raya as we listened to my uncle and my cousin describing the condition of the illness that she suffered before her demise.

In the midst of our conversation, my brother received news from a cousin about another uncle in Ipoh. This uncle, who is the eldest brother of my mother had suffered a mild heart attack the night before, and his condition had now turned critical after having a second heart attack this morning.

In my mind I was contemplating on changing our hari raya plan. I must visit this uncle at the earliest time possible. Time could be running out.

But within minutes we received the sad news that our uncle had succumb to his condition. Innalillaahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'uun....

Plan had to change. Our uncle nodded quietly as we informed him of the news. He understood our urgency to leave. As we headed home to my parents' I asked my nieces and nephews in the car to recite Alfatihah. While on the way to visit the uncle before, they were happily singing some patriotic songs and I was surprised to know that they could memorize the wordings so well. And now when I asked them to recite Alfatihah, they were able to recite it better than the song. Alhamdulillah..

The recitation sounded so sincere, coming from the pure souls of children aged between 4 to 8 years old. May Allah accept their prayers.

After some hurried but thoughtful discussion, seven out of my nine siblings decided to visit the departed uncle in Ipoh. It was heart breaking to see my mother cried as we were about to leave. We knew that she would like very much to come along to pay a last visit to her beloved brother, but my father's condition did not permit her to leave him. The journey would be too far for him.

Traveling in a convoy of five cars, we tried to beat the second hari raya traffic on the PLUS highway. The smooth traffic from Muar to Kuala Lumpur slowly became rather congested after that. And sadly we missed the funeral.

We reached the quiet graveyard about one hour after the funeral. My brother lead the prayer for the demise (solat jenazah) and continued on with Yaasin recitation.

As we sat there on the ground, I looked down and watched some insects moving and crawling amidst the dry leaves; ants, bees, millipedes, spiders, caterpillars.... with the sound of birds singing in the background... I suddenly realized, it was my birthday today. I don't really celebrate birthday, but this time it evoked a sobering realization that with each birthday, my days are numbered. One day, I would be lying down, surrounded by these crawling insects, alone, six feet underground. Ya Allah.. am I ready?

We then spent a couple of hours at my auntie's house.

She looked calm while sharing with us her gratitude for our visit. I told her that uncle was very fortunate, Allah had called upon him right after a month of worship in ramadan. Hearing that my auntie smiled and nodded," Yes..Alhamdulillah.. he was able to perform the night prayers, qiamullail, every night until the end... Alhamdulillah.."

Her answer made me envious. I sincerely hope and pray that uncle had gone with all his sins forgiven. Amiin..

Of the five cars that traveled to Ipoh, two went back to Muar, one went to Klang, one went to Kota Damansara, and we stayed in Ipoh. Ipoh is another home for us.

As ramadan ended, we celebrated syawal.

Eidul fitri means a celebration of returning to the state of fitrah and a celebration of the achievement of enhanced piety.

Thank you Allah for the blessing and mercy.

Thank you Allah for honoring me with another ramadan.

Thank you Allah for reminding me, as ramadan ended, that one day my life will end too.

One day I will definitely return to You.

I shall be going home.

Sept 11, 2010

Siapakah Mereka?

2010-09-07T11:35:00.016+08:00

Hari ini 28 Ramadhan, 1431 Hijrah.

Bulan suci yang penuh barakah ini akan berakhir tidak lama lagi. Pada bulan ini, Dia Yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang menurunkan rahmatNya, menutup pintu nerakaNya, membuka pintu syurgaNya.

Rahmat yang tidak terlihat oleh mata kasar manusia, namun bagi orang-orang soleh yang jernih hatinya, mereka pasti mampu melihat keindahan dan merasai kemanisan beramal di setiap detik yang berlalu.

Mereka yang hatinya sentiasa tulus dan jiwanya sentiasa merindukan Penciptanya pasti begitu bahagia ketika rukuk dan sujud di malam-malam hari, menitiskan airmata keinsafan, menadah tangan memohon keampunan dan mengharapkan agar taubat diterima, agar terselamat dari tipuan dunia.

Alangkah bertuahnya mereka itu.
Semakin hari, hatinya semakin tunduk, jiwanya semakin kental.

Dunia sekelilingnya semakin tidak bermakna kerana hatinya sudah terpaut kepada akhirat yang jauh lebih indah, lebih damai dan membahagiakan.

Siapakah mereka itu...di manakah mereka..?
Wajah mereka tentunya bercahaya.
Tuturkatanya pasti menyentuh jiwa.

Namun, sesuatu yang indah dan berharga seringkalinya tersembunyi.
Tidak terlihat oleh manusia, tidak mampu makhluk dunia mengenali mereka, hanya makhluk di langit yang tahu.

Merekalah yang akan meratapi pemergian ramadhan di ambang syawal nanti.
Airmata mereka bercucuran disetiap laungan takbir hari raya, bukan kerana merindukan keluarga dan sanak saudara yang jauh. Bahkan mereka menangisi pemergian ramadhan yang sangat dicintai, ramadhan yang semakin jauh pergi.
Mereka menyambut syawal dengan kebimbangan di hati, khuatir dengan cabaran dan dugaan yang mendatang.

Mereka ini mempunyai gelaran augerah dariNya.
Di hujung ramadhan mereka begitu rindu untuk pulang, ke kampung halaman yang telah disediakan olehNya.

Merekalah para Muttaqiin.

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang bertakwa berada di dalam taman-taman syurga dan mata air. Mereka mengambil apa yang diberikan Tuhan kepada mereka. Sesungguhnya mereka sebelum itu ( di dunia) adalah orang-orang yang berbuat baik; mereka sedikit sekali tidur pada waktu malam, dan pada akhir malam mereka memohon ampun....."
( Adz Zaariyaat: 15 - 18 )

Ya Allah
Ya Rahmaan
Ya Rahiim
Ya Quddus
Ya Salaam
Ya Ghaffar
Hanya keampunanMu yang kuharapkan
Hanya keredhaanMu yang kucari
Amiin Ya Arhamarraahimiin.

The Gift

2010-09-05T09:47:00.015+08:00

"Kakak...where are you?"
"I am home..."
"I thought you are still at the masjid...I have something for you"
"Come to my house then.."
"Right now?"
"Yes..right now"
"Okay! I am coming...but I won't be alone..my kids would surely want to come along"
"Just come...the more the merrier.."

She came that night with four of her thirteen kids. Then, not long afterward another two of her kids arrived, on their own. Their house is just within a walking distance from mine.
I have always enjoyed her company. Especially with the kids. But that day was even more special. She came with a gift.
An elegant gold coloured box with a lovely green card inside.
The first thing that you will notice on the box is the inscription in the middle:

Sallallaahu ala sayyidina Muhammad, wa aalihi wasallam.

" I want people to remember him, each time they eat kurma, I want them to remember the person behind the sunnah of eating kurma.." She said to me while I was opening the beautiful box.

" We usually associate kurma with fasting, with iftar in ramadan, but we tend to forget that it was because of him that we are all blessed with the light of Islam... we owe it to him, his tireless struggle... his love for us.."
" We eat kurma because it was his sunnah..."
She said that with such a passion, with so much love.

My heart sank. How true that is.

Suddenly I remembered a story about him.
Once, he shared one kurma with his wife for iftar because there was nothing else to eat at home that day. Only one.

He is our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Allaahumma solli 'ala Muhammad. Wa 'ala aali Muhammad.

Thank you my friend, my dear sister, for this special gift.
It was indeed, a gift of love.

Ya Allah persaksikanlah bahawa aku menuruti agama nabi Mu dan sunnah Baginda, sesungguhnya aku..
Menyintai Rasulullah Sallallaahu alaihi wasallam

The Small Effort

2010-08-28T15:25:00.018+08:00

Have you ever seen small children walking clumsily because their shoe laces are untied? They could even trip over and hurt themselves.

To the child, the little effort that her father or mother did, which is properly tying the shoe laces, means a lot. It could save him/her from getting hurt.

Alhamdulilah.. I can tie my own shoe laces.

But in my every day life I still depend on others' little efforts in order to make my life easier.

Besides teaching, my job requires me to check and grade the students' work such as their quizzes, assignments, projects and exam papers. I have always reminded my students to check their names, student numbers and group numbers. I had reminded them to write correctly all these details. It was just a simple effort on the part of the students, but it means a lot to me.

After grading the work, the marks have to be recorded correctly by referring to the name, student number and group number. It's quite simple actually.

But when I am in the midst of checking their work, sometimes the piling papers got mixed up.

So, there were times when I have to go over a long student list in order to record the marks because the student did not write his/her group number. It could take a few minutes or a few hours or even a few days!

I still remember a few incidents when lecturers became stressful over a missing examination script. A missing exam script is no small matter. We checked our tables, our drawers, in the office, at home, in our cars... We searched for days. In the end we found it, there, together with the other scripts. It was not missing after all, it was there all the while, but the script had a wrong group number!

What I am trying to say is, sometimes we don't realize how our tiny little effort could affect others. Writing the correct group number seems like effortless to students but it means a lot to us the lecturers. It could spare us the anxiety, agony and the long hours of checking a long class list in order to find their names.

This semester, I have over 100 students in four groups, with quite a number of them having the same name. I really appreciate those who took their time to write those details correctly. It makes my life so much easier. May Allah reward them for their little act of kindness. And there are also those who wrote their work neatly, one step after the other. It is always a pleasure to check these kind of works. Alhamdulillah.

To all my students, including those from the previous years.. I should have said this to you long, long time ago... Thank you very much for your kindness. I hope this gives you some deeper understanding that everything you do IS accounted for.

Jazakumullahu khairan kathira.

We are in the month of Ramadan. The month when the reward for our good deeds will be multiplied. Let's focus on doing good deeds no matter how small they are.

"Indeed, Allah does not do injustice, [even] as much as an atom's weight; while if there is a good deed, He multiplies it and gives from Himself a great reward"

( An Nisaa': 40)

Ya Allah

Ya Rahmaan Ya Rahiim..

Ampunkan segala perbuatanku yang telah menyusahkan orang lain

Maafkan Ya Allah..

Segala kesilapanku yang mungkin pernah menyebabkan kesusahan kepada orang lain

Ya Allah..Ya Rahman..

Rahmati lah dan berkati lah kehidupan orang-orang yang telah mempermudahkan urusan hidupku

Permudahkanlah hidup mereka sebagaimana mereka telah mempermudahkan hidupku..

Amiin..Ya Rabbal Aalamiin..

Only With Forgiveness

2010-08-21T07:26:00.011+08:00

“I will never forgive the man who harmed my kids. he is not my husband. He is a syaitan (satan). Because of him we aregoing to have a bleak Hari Raya,” said Che Ku Zaimah Ku Awang when Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Ahmad Said visited her yesterday.

Eight-year-old Nurul Dahyatul Fazlina Khalib was so badly disfigured in the acid attack that Ahmad sobbed openly when he saw her. Even medical officers and members of the media who accompanied him could not hold back their tears.

But Ku Zaimah was strong. “This is takdir (fate),” she was heard murmuring.

(Detail news here)

I can understand the deep resentment that a woman, a wife and a mother felt towards the man who was supposed to be the protector of the family. A man, a husband and a father has betrayed his family. The physical injuries will leave a permanent scar, but the wound in the heart of the child might not heal.

" I will never forgive him"

While the crime committed by the man seems unforgivable, the woman is now punishing herself and her child with the declaration. I am not worried about the man, he will receive the punishment he deserved, if not here, in the here after. But I felt really sorry for the woman. The deep anger will keep her imprisoned. She would be carrying a heavy burden in her heart.

I pray that Allah will send His Mercy to this woman and her children. May Allah opens her heart for forgiveness.

Only with forgiveness would she ever find the real peace in her soul.

Only with forgiveness would she be healed.

The Pure Heart

2010-08-14T14:43:00.009+08:00

It was after iftar at the masjid. I was chatting with a friend when suddenly we heard the sound of a baby crying loudly. I knew the mother of that baby was still inside, performing the maghrib prayer. I could imagine how the mother must have felt upon hearing the cry of her dear baby.

I turned around and saw a very young girl holding her crying baby sister.

I went to her, reaching out to take the baby. A look of relief came on her face.

Holding the baby I tried my best to console her. The poor baby cried even louder. Then I started,"Laa ilaha..illallah.." slowly I recited while checking on her for any sign of injury.

Almost in an instant, the crying stop! Subhaanallah..

It was as if the verse alleviated all her pain and fear.

Her tiny chest was still shaking but the loud cry has now turned into a tiny sobbing.

My dear baby, you love that verse, don't you?

It comforts you, isn't it?....

As I continued reciting "Laa ilaha illallah.." repeatedly, the

sobbing receded.

And now, it was me who felt like crying.

My dear baby, your heart is so pure, your heart recognize that divine verse and it immediately gave you some comfort.

You must have heard it so frequently from your mom that upon hearing it, it took away all your fears.

Subhaanallaah...

I asked the sister what had happened.

" I don't know, I put her down to pick up some drink..I was thirsty..suddenly I heard her cry and saw her lying down at the staircase.."

" It's ok..may be she fell down, but she's not hurt, she was just scared.."

I continued reciting the verse that she loved so much. By now, the baby is quiet.

I couldn't help from being awe stricken when I look at her face, so immensely calm and peaceful, obviously enjoying my recitation. Because, when I stop, she looked as if she's about to cry again.

My dear baby Asma' ( that's her name)..

Remember this verse always..

Laa ilaaha illallah..

It is called 'kalimah toyyibah'..

It is the essence of all our activities in our life

Your dad recited that verse on the day that you were born

To welcome you

To tell you that you were born as a muslim

And that you will be nurtured and raised as a muslim

Alhamdulillah..

The Prophet Muhammad SAW said, "No baby is born but upon Fitra (as a Muslim). It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist." (Sahih Muslim)

The Qur'an

2010-08-14T09:41:00.011+08:00

Ya Allah

Send me Your Mercy through the Qur'an

Make it for me as the imam, the light, the guide, the mercy

Ya Allah

Remind me what I have forgotten

Teach me what I am ignorant of

Bestow on me the ability of reciting it

All through the night..

All through the day..

The dua that we recite before and after reciting the Qur'an, is so beautiful.

Qur'an, the book of guidance, must be treated as such. A guide.

Unlike any other books, reading the Qur'an soothes the chaotic mind, heals the ailing heart, rejuvenates the weary soul.

The book of guidance, sent down by The Most Merciful Ar Rahmaan, is full of mercy.

A blessed heart can sense the mercy, can see the light and the guide.

It's been four days. The month of the Qur'an, Ramadan, moves very quickly.

Somehow reading the Qur'an in Ramadan felt different.

Reciting the dua, asking for mercy, light and guide through the Qur'an.. shakes my heart.

Reciting the verses rendered me to tears. It's a love letter from my Creator.

He started by introducing Himself, His Name..

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

How beautiful that is...

Ya Allah

Allow me to feel the mercy

Allow me to see the light

Allow me to understand the guide

That You are sending me

Through this blessed book

In this blessed month

For, this could be my last chance.

For, I might not see another Ramadan.

Amiin..Ya Arhamarraahimiin..

One Hundred Percent

2010-08-08T18:11:00.005+08:00

" And when my servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near, I answer the prayer of the supplicant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way "

(Al Baqarah: 186)

My teacher taught me about the importance of purifying the heart and how crucial it is to keep myself in a state of constantly remembering Allah in my effort of purifying the heart.

I asked my teacher, " How am I going to to do that? It's vey difficult..."

My teacher replied, " Did you ask from Him?.... May be you did. But you were not confident. You must believe in Him, one hundred percent..."

One hundred percent, nothing less.

I must find that faith. One hundred percent faith.

Religion can be inherited. But not faith. I must take my own journey to find it.

"Remember Me - I will remember you. Give thanks to Me and do not be ungrateful. O you who believe, seek help with patience perseverance and prayer; for God is with those who patiently persevere"

( Al Baqarah: 152 - 153 )

May Allah make it easy for me this Ramadan.

May Allah guide me always.

Ameen...

Ahlan Ya Ramadan

2010-07-31T15:07:00.007+08:00

What is your objective this ramadan?

Self improvement.

And do you know how to do it?

Yes, sort of..

Can I offer you some suggestions?

Yes, of course...please do.

When Allah intends for someone to be good, He will make the person busy and deeply concern about his own weaknesses.

You mean my weaknesses..my shortcomings?

Yes, get yourself busy in tracking and scrutinizing your own faults. If you want to be someone better, it doesn't help in occupying your time in finding faults in others. You got the wrong target there.

That is quite obvious isn't it.. but it's easier said than done.

And, try to listen to criticism from someone who dislike you, not from someone who loves you.

That would be tough to swallow. They could be very nasty and harsh, their criticism are so unkind.

Of course. But, your enemies are your best critics! They will tell you right on your face how ugly, how bad you are.

How do I get the strength to face that??

Find a teacher. Someone who can guide your mind... your heart. A teacher who can nurture your soul.

Yes.. a teacher would help.

Also a friend. A trustworthy friend who is sincere in giving advice whenever he sees you making mistake. Someone who will not turn a blind eye just because you are his friend.

How do I find a teacher and a friend like that?

Ask from Him. Ask, pray, beg.. from Allah, The Most Merciful. Ramadan is the month of mercy.

Thank you.

Do not thank me, my dear. Thank Him.

Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah...

Sebuah peringatan yang sangat berharga dari seorang teman menjelang Ramadan.

Apabila ALLAH menginginkan seseorang itu menjadi baik maka DIA akan menjadikan seseorang itu sibuk terhadap keburukan pada dirinya sendiri, bukan sibuk mencari keburukan orang lain.

Sesungguhnya untuk menjadikan diri baik bukanlah dengan melihat kebaikan diri sendiri, kerana ianya boleh menjatuhkan diri ke dalam kebinasaan hati, malah untuk menjadi baik kita perlu selalu melihat dan mencari kesalahan diri untuk diperbaiki.

Astaghfirullahal aziim..

Busy...Take Five.

2010-07-18T11:48:00.008+08:00

It's been seven weeks. It is time for mid semester break.

This time we had a unique and special break, two days, Saturday and Sunday.

That's all.

And, am I enjoying it?

Yes...of course.

The photo shows my activity during the semester break.

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of activities, we tend to lose track of our life.

We forget that every single minute is counted.

We forget that everything is recorded. In a book. All the meticulous details.

I am reminding myself.

Everything must begin with the right intention.

Innamal a'malu bin niyaati.

It's Been Quite a While

2010-07-09T21:23:00.006+08:00

The past one month had been very hectic. The new semester had started, and having a maximum load of teaching means most of my time at work is filled with classes, while the remaining few hours is for the preparation for class.

I do have a lot to write and to share with my readers, but time simply did not permit me for writing in this blog.

My responsibility as a teacher has always been top priority. It is not just a job for me, it is my means for seeking rewards from Him.

Everyone of us has a role and specific purpose here, in this world.

I am not a fighter in a battle field, I am not a leader of a country. I am an educator.

And this is the path for me to go to Him.

Allah is Most Merciful, He knows our strengths and weaknesses and He will not lay on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear.

May Allah guide us all. Amiin..

Note:

I have recently become a 'convert'. No..it's not about religion..

That is what they call you when you switch from pc (windows) to mac.

This is my first entry using my Macbook. I am still learning my way through this 'new world', but it's been fun.

If any of you out there is a macbook user, I sincerely welcome any helpful tips.

Read!

2010-06-13T21:58:00.004+08:00

"How many books have you read this year?"

"Err... I can't remember.."

"More than ten?"

"No!..no.. it's less than that"

"Less than five?"

"I think so..I've been busy.."

"You should read more.."

"I have no time.."

"Really?.... Busy people usually read a lot."

"Uhh..?"

"Yes..only busy people will find time to read."

Read!

Read, in the name of your Lord.

They Return to HIM

2010-06-04T21:30:00.012+08:00

Fatih Mosque, Istanbul.

Once again, a history of honour and bravery was made. The mosque built by Sultan Muhammad lovingly embraced the bodies of nine activists who were martyred on board of Mavi Marmara.

Thousands of mourners gathered and prayed for the blessed souls.

I had been following the news about the flotilla very closely, and the news about the attack on the ship filled my heart with rage. And reading the subsequent news always left me teary eyed.

The nine activists were finally sent home, in Turkey.
They are the chosen ones.
While their bodies returned to their families, the souls returned to Him.

Palestine is the land of the prophets, Turkey is the land of Sultan Muhammad and the final khalifah.
May Allah bless these lands and the people.
May Allah bless the souls of the martyrs in Palestine, in Turkey and every where in this world.
Ameen Ya Arhamar rahimiin..

"Think not of those who are slain in Allah's way as dead. Nay, they live, finding their sustenance in the presence of their Lord; They rejoice in the bounty provided by Allah. And with regard to those left behind, who have not yet joined them (in their bliss), the (martyr's) glory in the fact that on them is no fear, nor have they (cause to) grieve"
(Aali Imraan:169-170)"

We are Carpenters

2010-05-30T10:24:00.005+08:00

There is a story of an elderly carpenter who was ready to retire.
The carpenter told his employer of his plan to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife, enjoying his extended family.
The employer was sorry to see his employee go and asked if he would build just one more house as a personal favour to him. The carpenter reluctantly agreed. He did sloppy work and he used inferior materials.
It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work, the employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter.
"This is your house," he said. "It is my retirement gift to you"
The carpenter was shocked. If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.
(Excerpt from: The Power of Giving)

We are all carpenters. We build our life everyday. Whether we do it whole-heartedly with deep passion or not it is our life that we are building.

Life is a journey, in the end we will be held accountable for all the things we did. The day will come when we will be facing Him, alone, to be judged and be rewarded.

From Turkey to Gaza

2010-05-29T20:10:00.007+08:00

As I am writing this, the convoy of eight ships "Freedom Flotilla" are still on the way from Turkey to Gaza. The ships are loaded with humanitarian supplies for Palestinians in Gaza who have been under siege for almost four years.
(The photo on the right shows Ismail Haniya, prime minister of Gaza, inspecting the work at the old naval port of Gaza, where aid ships are expected to dock)

One of the ships, Mavi Marmara has about 560 activists which includes eight Malaysians.
After months of preparation they left for this blessed journey while knowing full well that they might not return.

Let us all pray to Him, The Mighty Al Aziz, The Protector Al Muhaymin, that this honorable mission would be accomplished and all of them would return safely.
However, whatever the outcome is, they have nothing to lose. It's either returning to their family or returning to Him.
They are indeed the chosen ones. How I envy them.

Turkish Craftmanship

2010-05-26T21:40:00.024+08:00

We stayed for two days in Cappadocia.
On the second day, after the hot air balloon ride we went to visit three places.
The first one was hand made carpet factory. The carpets were made either from silk, cotton or wool.

The silkworm cocoons(left- the white round thing inside the container) had to be 'processed' in a certain way in order to get the thread ( I can't recall how it was).
Yes, the poor worms were inside that white cocoons.
This lady(right) was showing us how to make the double knots, the method used only by Turkish in hand made carpet making, hence you will have a long lasting high quality carpet. Unlike machine made carpet, a genuine handmade carpet takes a long time to finish. That carpet there(right) should be ready in may be two years time.

Then, in the show room, after being served with apple tea and Turkish coffee, it's time to show the carpets. The carpets were absolutely beautiful!
And the ones made with 100% silk were not just beautiful, but they were very very soft.. and silky..of course.
But, just use your own imagination to estimate the prices.Fully hand made, and it took months to complete. Not cheap I must say.

After the carpets, we were taken to see the jewelry. Precious and semi precious stones wrapped in silver. Blue, red, black, green stones... they were all there.
The special one is turquoise. Now I know that turquoise actually originated from Turkey and the word turquoise means Turkish stone or Turkish blue.

Not only the stones were special, the designs were very unique as some of them were fully imitated from ancient Anatolian jewelries.
I was there just to "cleanse my eyes" (cuci mata, that's what we, Malay called it). And yes.. my eyes were totally cleansed all right...

The last one for the day was ceramics.
Before we arrived at the place, I was just thinking that, it's just ceramics, nothing special.
But, once I saw the finished products, I was so impressed. The intricate designs were simply amazing.

The place that we went to belonged to a family, it was a family business which has been around for many generations (eight, if I am not mistaken). It was located in one of the cave houses.

From the carpet, then jewelry and lastly the ceramics.. what I saw was people who took pride in their work. Their meticulous and delicate work requires deep passion. Without passion, it's just not possible to produce such immaculate work.

I felt honoured to have met these people. They've not only shown me their exquisite works of art, but they have taught me about passion, patience and perseverance.

Alhamdulillah...
All praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

Cappadocia - 2

2010-05-23T16:41:00.028+08:00

Let the pictures speak.
The lady in the photo was our pilot.
Click on any photo to have a better view.

Alhamdulillah..
All praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds.

Cappadocia - 1

2010-05-22T10:11:00.033+08:00

Cappadocia is an area not a city.
The landscape of Cappadocia came into being as a result of volcano eruption thousands of years ago. What we saw was an area full of rocks in dramatic shape. This area was an underground city where Christians used as a perfect hideout from the Romans.
They lived in their cave houses (right), all connected from the inside. However, most of these cave houses and churches are now empty, whereas in some places it has been turned into hotels and restaurants.
For more detailed information you can read here.

Cappadocia area is very wide. And the best way to view the area is from above. Yes! You have to fly...like a bird, so you can have the bird's eye view. That's exactly what we did.
It was an optional tour, and only four of us took the challenge. Me and my husband and two other friends.
It's hot air balloon ride!
It was a dream come true for me..
Alhamdulillah..Subhaanallah..
We were taken to the station as early as 5.00 am ( subuh time is 3.50am, by the way). The ride is only done early in the morning when the wind flow is safe for hot air balloon.

The basket has four sections for the passengers (5 per section), and one section in the middle for the pilot.

You don't really feel the movement of the
balloon unless you looked straight down below the balloon. It went up and down depending on the landscape. Sometimes we were taken in between the rocks so that we can have a better view of the cave houses. The highest that we went were 700m above the land.

It was an unforgettable experience. Subhaanallah..
The spectacular and breathtaking view made us speechless. Most of us were quiet, too absorbed with the surrounding.

The ride lasted about one hour. As the balloon started to descend, the ground crew got ready to pull the basket to the landing platform behind a vehicle to be driven back to the station. We were asked to stand in a landing position by holding to the basket while bending our knees. The landing was really smooth.
After getting out from the basket, we were offered with grape juice to celebrate and presented with a certificate by the pilot.

Alhamdulillah..

Istanbul to Bolu to Ankara

2010-05-21T11:11:00.016+08:00

After 11 hours of flight, we reached Istanbul around 6.00 am (local time). Upon arrival at the airport we were taken straight for sight seeing in the city.
Besides Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia, we were also taken to Topkapi Palace. It used to be a palace for the Ottoman Sultans which now turned into a museum. The museum has several sections and the most special one is the Chambers of the Sacred Relics. It is filled with some relics of Prophet Muhammad SAW such as his swords, letter, tooth and footprint. It was another episode of emotional experience especially when looking at the sacred footprint. It's difficult to describe what I felt, but suffice to say that my tears came yet again.
No photos though since camera is strictly forbidden in the museum.

After lunch we board the bus and went to Bolu ( 270 km) where we spent the night before we continued to Ankara the next day.

On the way to Ankara next morning, we enjoyed the usual scenery of green landscape with fruit plantation. Every now and then we saw small villages with the minaret (red arrow, above).

In Ankara, we were taken to the Museum of Anatolian Civilization exhibiting historical artifacts from ancient civilization which includes tools, jewelry and some model of the ancient house.
After having lunch we headed to another museum.

Our tour guide(left) is a friendly cheerful person. She is also a big fan of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. She would speak passionately about the Turkish national hero. While I have my own opinion about this man, the founder and first president of the Turkish Republic, I learn a lot from her about Ataturk's contributions to the modern secularized Turkey.

We visited the Mausoleum of Ataturk(right) located in the middle of a large museum dedicated to him. The museum consists of his personal belongings, well written history and photographs of his achievements, and also his life size wax statue.
The tomb of Ataturk (left) is inside the mausoleum.

Our journey continued to Nevsehir in Cappadocia (about 290km from Ankara). Most of us were sleeping. I was very excited to be in Cappadocia for a very good reason (and you'll agree with me). But along the way we saw a lake which looked so white. From the map we assume it was Tuz Lake. From one, two, suddenly most of us we chatting excitedly and some were standing while taking photos. May be it was our reaction that made the bus driver stop at a rest area near the lake.
Getting down from the bus, we ignored our guide's reminder not to go very far. It was a salt lake!
People come by personal vehicles to load the salt.
Some of us took the trouble of touching the salt and
tasting the water, just to be sure. I didn't even know that such a lake exists here. ( I only knew about Dead Sea in Jordan)

Turkey...you never fail to amaze me.

Subhaanallah...

The Silence of Hagia Sophia

2010-05-20T17:37:00.015+08:00

Ayasofya. Such a beautiful name, for such an exquisite house of worship.
It was a place of worship for the Christians for over 900 years.
Then, starting from 1453, when Ayasofya was converted into a mosque, faithful Muslims prayed, performed the ruku' and sujud, worshiping The Creator.
For a blessed 500 years Ayasofya must have been smiling with joy.

But that day, as I walked slowly inside Ayasofya, it felt cold.
There's a feeling of deep sadness.
No more worshipers here.
Only visitors.
They came with their cameras flashing amidst the voices of tour guides explaining passionately the history of beloved Ayasofya.
They walked upon the floor with shoes on.

Ayasofya lost it's sacred privilege. Lost it's soul.

Could Ayasofya be grieving now?

The house of worship is now a house of display and some parts of the beautiful walls were obviously withered by time. (Some restoration works were in progress).

Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes. How I wish I could find a quiet place, away from the sight of the visitors and cry together with Ayasofya.

The Masjid - 2

2010-05-19T13:27:00.014+08:00

The following are three of the mosques in Istanbul that was named after three sultans of the Ottoman Empire, and a museum which used to be a church and a mosque. All these four landmarks are located not far from one another.

The above is the famous Sultan Ahmet Mosque. Popularly known as Blue Mosque for the lovely blue tiles adorning the interior walls. It has six minarets. Sultan Ahmet ( 1590-1617) was the fourteenth sultan in the Ottoman Empire. We visited this mosque upon our arrival in Istanbul.

This is Suleiman Mosque, referring to Sultan Suleiman ( 1494-1566 ), the tenth sultan who is the great-grandson of Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh. It has four minarets. We saw this mosque from afar when we took the boat cruise at the Bosphorus Strait.

The above is Fatih Mosque that refers to Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh( 1432-1481), the Conqueror of Constantinople and the seventh sultan. It has only two minarets and it is also the place where the great sultan was laid to rest. It was the one that we sadly missed.

This is Hagia Sophia Museum( or Ayasofya in Turkish). This Byzantine church was converted into a mosque immediately upon the conquest of Constantinople by Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh. Known then on as the Ayasofya Mosque, the Hagia Sophia remained the Great Mosque of the Ottoman capital until its secularization under the Turkish Republic In 1934(it was converted into a museum until today). All the minarets were added after it was converted into a mosque.
It could be considered as the most important landmark of Istanbul for it is very dear to Christians and Muslims alike, and also to anyone who has a deep passion for world history.

Istanbul alone has a lot of history to tell, what more Turkey as a country. I am deeply thankful to Allah that I am blessed with the opportunity to visit this great land that had witnessed the ups and downs of human civilization for us to take lesson from.

I certainly hope that anyone who is planning to visit Istanbul would find this entry to be beneficial and helpful in understanding a small but very significant part of Turkey's rich history.

The Masjid

2010-05-18T17:45:00.024+08:00

Turkey is well known for it's beautiful mosques. The magnificent Sultan Ahmed Mosque or better known as Blue Mosque(left) is stunningly beautiful and elegant. It is one of the famous landmarks in the world.

When I entered the mosque, it was not just the physical beauty of the mosque that touched my heart, it was more of the memory of the great man who conquered the city of Constantinople, the man whom Prophet Muhammad SAW referred to as the best commander leading the best army.
I mistakenly thought that this mosque was the one named after the great Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh.
It was only after I reached home and did some more detailed reading that I discovered that there is another mosque, Fatih Mosque (right), which was actually constructed at his order, and subsequently named after him. It is also at this mosque that his body is peacefully resting.
I only have myself to blame for not doing enough research and simply assumed that a guided tour in Istanbul must surely include such a significant place to be visited.
I am sad and disappointed that we missed it, but I console myself by thinking that I have a very good reason to return to Istanbul in the future. I owe him a visit.
And I am happy and blessed enough that I had the opportunity to visit the mosque and the final resting place of Abu Ayub Al-Ansari and Jalaludin Ar-Rumi.

But then I realized that any first timer to Turkey can easily be mistaken by the mosques. They look very much alike to one another, especially the domes and minarets.

In fact, you can see mosques everywhere in Turkey. They obviously dominate the landscape. The city of Istanbul itself has around 3000 mosques.

All through out our journey, we will always be reminded that this is a Muslim land.
It was a scene that is most soothing to the eyes. In the vast land of wheat and olive plantation, thousand hectares of green land as far as the eyes can see, you will see small villages with the minarets.

Turkey is a beautiful country with breathtaking views of the mountains and hilly landscape. When I visited Switzerland, the beauty of the mountains, the lakes, the crystal clear streams rendered me to tears, but it sadden me the fact that majority of the population do not know the The Creator. Whereas in Turkey, the sight of the minarets filled my heart with peace and joy. It signifies that The Creator and The Owner of this beautiful land is rightfully worshiped.

Subhaanallah..
Alhamdulillah..
Allahu Akbar..

Nine Days Seven Nights

2010-05-16T18:30:00.010+08:00

Alhamdulillah.. Our flight landed safely this morning from Istanbul. The nine day journey has ended.

This is the first time that we travel by tour package with packed itinerary. Eighteen Malaysians and two Turkish ( one bus driver and one tour guide) traveled a total of almost 3000km, covering about one third of the country in two continents, Asia and Europe.
From Istanbul, we travel to Bolu, Ankara, Nevsehir, Konya, Kusadasi, Denizli, Cannakkale and back to Istanbul.

The journey started with 'visiting' Sultan Muhammad, and ended with Abu Ayub Al-Ansari, the two significant figures in the Islamic history of Istanbul.

Turkey is full of surprises.

It's the land of olive and wheat, beautiful art of carpet making and ceramics, and last but not least the ruins of previous civilization dated as far as 3000 years, exhibited either in indoor or outdoor museums.

I hope to write in detail about this priceless experience.
InsyaAllah.

Another Journey

2010-05-07T10:12:00.004+08:00

While packing for my flight tonight, my mind wonders. I have been preparing for this journey for quite some time. Writing a check list of important things to do and to prepare.
But I am actually on a journey 24 hours every day, for 7 days a week. My life journey on this temporary world is definitely nearing the end, each day, each minute. My life check list had been written and rewritten through out the years. There were many turning points, junctions, bumpy roads and smooth paths that I've trod on.

This is going to be a journey inside a journey.
A visit to the city that was conquered by the best army, lead by the best commander, as prophesied by Prophet Muhammad SAW.
The flight is 11 hours, time difference is 5 hours.

I hope to come back as a better person.
Amiin Ya Rabbal Aalamiin.

Musafir...

2010-05-04T06:31:00.015+08:00

Berjalan, bermusafirlah..
Melihat keagungan Allah
Meninjau, menitilah
Rahsia ciptaan Allah

Marilah bermusafir
Laksanakan tuntutan jiwa
Bemusafir, berkelana
Kenal lah Tuhan Maha Pencipta

Terkenang kepada lirik sebuah nasyid yang begitu menyentuh jiwa.
Bermusafir, jika dimulakan dengan niat yang tulus untuk melihat keagungan dan kebesaran Allah akan menimbulkan keinsafan di hati.
Ketika bermusafir, disunnahkan melakukan solat jama' dan qasar, satu keistimewaan yang dianugerahkan bagi memudahkan perjalanan, juga bagi seorang musafir, doanya makbul.

Ya..saya akan bermusafir lagi. Mudah-mudahan hati ini semakin tunduk, kesombongan ini akan beransur lenyap apabila melihat alam yang luas, lambang keagungan Penciptanya.
Mudah-mudahan diri semakin menyedari, betapa kerdil diri ini, dan tiada apa di dunia ini yang boleh dimiliki, tiada apa yang boleh dibawa kembali kepadaNya nanti kecuali amal soleh dan hati yang sejahtera.

Ya Allah..
Ya Rahman, Ya Rahiim..
Berkatilah perjalanan kami ini nanti
Ya Fattah
Bukakan lah mata hati kami
Agar dapat melihat kebesaran dan keagunganMu
Di sebalik ciptaanMu

Dunia yang Menipu

2010-05-01T12:54:00.011+08:00

Kadang-kadang hidup ini terasa begitu panjang. Tetapi apabila kita cuba mengenang semula segala liku-liku kehidupan yang telah dilalui bertahun-tahun, semuanya bagaikan sebuah mimpi. Sesuatu yang sangat menggembirakan suatu ketika dahulu adakalanya sudah tidak bermakna langsung.
Dan apabila kita cuba menceritakan kisah hidup yang bertahun-tahun itu, tiba-tiba kita hanya mampu menceritakan dalam beberapa minit sahaja. Kisah bertahun-tahun itu menjadi sebuah cerita yang amat pendek.
Itulah dunia. Dunia yang menipu. Dunia yang semantara.

(Berikut ini adalah petikan dari kuliyah maghrib yang disampaikan oleh seorang ustaz)

Perumpamaan dunia itu antaranya ialah seperti sebuah mimpi. Semuanya yang indah mahupun yang buruk, hilang apabila kita terjaga dari mimpi itu.
Kita semua sedang bermimpi dan akan terjaga apabila kita dijemput oleh maut. Apabila kita berada di alam barzakh, segala yang kita miliki di dunia ini hilang, pangkat, harta, keluarga, sanjungan dan pujian manusia, semuanya lenyap.

Dunia juga ibarat seorang perempuan tua hodoh yang berhias dan berpakaian cantik menawan, yang dilihat dari belakang. Sesiapa yang melihat pasti terpesona dan ingin tahu tetapi apabila dia menoleh ke belakang dan terlihat wajahnya yang sebenar, akan kecewalah mata yang memandang.

Dunia umpama makanan yang lazat, enak dimakan tetapi akhirnya menjadi najis yang tidak berguna dan dilupakan. Segala kebendaan yang dikejar di dunia ini, makanan, pakaian, perabot yang mahal, akan berakhir di tempat longgokan sampah, terbiar, tidak memberi erti.

Dan akhirnya, ustaz mengingatkan, apabila kita melihat sebuah mahligai yang indah tersergam, begitu kagum kita melihatnya, maka lihatlah kepada penghuninya, mereka bukan semakin muda, bahkan semakin tua dimakan usia. Kematian jua yang sedang ditunggu oleh mereka.

Dunia...tiada yang kekal di sini.

Wahai diriku..
Janganlah hatimu terpaut dengan dunia ini.

A Blessed Heart

2010-04-29T14:10:00.022+08:00

LONDON, April 28 — Fashion designer Alexander McQueen hanged himself after taking a mixture of cocaine, tranquillizers and sleeping pills, the inquest into his death concluded-Reuters

I don't know who Alexander McQueen was until I read the above news. Apparently, he was a successful and famous personality in the fashion world. He committed suicide, what a tragic end..

Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, California. It is acclaimed as one of the most beautiful bridges in the world with an estimation of nine million visitors per year. Sadly, it is also the world's most popular place to commit suicide. The bridge had witnessed thousand of people jumped to their death since it's completion in 1937.

Switzerland, one of the most beautiful countries in the world, has made assisted suicide as legal.

How sad that is...

The pursuit of material gain has deceived many. Success is always being measured by our bank account, beautiful house, respectable position in society, children and families, good health and all other material and social achievements.
But there are many out there, whose success simply makes them suffer. The long journey towards success suddenly ends up in emptiness in the heart. They could not find what they are searching for.
On the contrary, a person with barely enough to make ends meet could be living a peaceful life.
Yes, money does bring happiness, temporarily that is.
Money gives us pleasure, but not peace.

We are created by Allah as a spiritual creature inside a physical body. We are created to serve a purpose, to worship Him. We could be tall or short, rich or poor, healthy or sick..but we are to worship Him. Only then we can find the inner peace.
Our soul would forever be in continuous search for peace.
And when we fail to find Him, As Salam,The Source of Peace, our hearts suffer and the deep inner pain become unbearable..
Peace does not depend on our life situation and our surrounding. Peace in the heart begins with sincere acceptance of what life has to offer and the deep understanding that life is a test.When a heart had been blessed with it, nothing in the world can destroy it. Our life will always be filled with happiness and sadness, but it will always be beautiful when our heart is at peace.

Ya Allah
Ya Rahmaan
Ya Rahiim
Ya Salam....
We came from You, and to You we shall return.

"O soul at peace, return to your Lord, well-pleased, well-pleasing, So enter among my servants, enter my paradise" ( Al Fajr:27-30)

An Explanation

2010-04-25T10:54:00.012+08:00

It happened again.
I attended a gathering last night and met a good friend who complained to me,
" I smiled at you just now but you did not respond, I thought you've already forgotten who I am"
I apologized to her and continued with my usual explanation about my eyesight.

You see, my optometrist said I belong to the 10% of the population with similar eyesight condition. I discovered this a few years back. I suffered some prolonged headache, and decided to check my eyesight after running out of possible options in finding the remedy. I never quite noticed that I have eyesight problem.
When my optometrist became silent and kept repeating the procedure of checking my eyes, I became curious. Why did he kept on repeating it, and not saying a word to me?
Then I remembered that he had that look on his face (which I can't find a word to describe it right now) and announced,
" You are far sighted on the right eye and near sighted on the left eye"
" Wow.. is that possible? "
" Yup... about 10% have this condition"
That's why I failed to notice it before, because one of my eyes will always remain clear whether looking at an object nearby or in a distance. But the blurry vision of the other eye disturb the focus point, hence the headache comes. Only when I put on that ugly test spectacles that optometrist usually give you in the clinic, then I realized how clear the world should be with a good eyesight!

I was near sighted (on both eyes) and used to wear eyeglasses during my student days, but I simply abandon it after I graduated. I admit I don't like wearing one and since my condition was not that severe, I survived.
But after many years, the condition changed and turned to as it is now.
What is the problem then? I have a problem in getting good eyeglasses. The few attempts that I had, ended up in frustration. And I am not just referring to the cost. The lenses are not comfortable at all. I failed to adapt to the opposite lenses on both eyes, and multifocal lenses are even worse, so I only wear it once in a while when I really need it.

And usually after I explained my condition to others when they were offended because I did not return the smile they gave me, they will ask,
"Why don't your wear your eyeglasses then?"
To lighten up the situation my usual answer would be,
" I don't look good wearing it lah..I look like a teacher,." and they would laugh at me. Yes, besides the eyesight problem, I also have a psychological problem of self denial, a teacher who doesn't like the look of a teacher.. no cure for that, I guess.

So, before you accuse me of being arrogant for not responding to your friendly gesture, have some pity on me please... I just don't clearly see your face, so just come nearer and there you are.. I might have forgotten names sometimes, but I am a visual person, I don't forget faces easily.
However, if you are caught in a situation that you most likely prefer not being seen by me, don't worry, if you are far enough, I won't recognize you. How far is it? That's for me to know, and for you to wonder...

We are Travelers

2010-04-20T16:53:00.020+08:00

Eyjafjallajokull. That's difficult enough to spell, let alone to pronounce. But apparently, that name will be remembered by millions of people whose life went to a standstill or to a certain extent chaotic at this moment because of flight cancellations to and from Europe.
I couldn't help laughing when I read the following from CNN news website.

Russ Byer was supposed to fly to Los Angeles, California, on Saturday after a two-week vacation in Berlin, Germany -- until he found out about the cancellations.

"This is surreal!" he said, recalling his first thought. "Stranded by a volcano? Particularly one with an unpronounceable name."

As an occasional air traveler I can't imagine how the stranded passengers must have felt, I have never been stranded more than 9 hours. Whereas the airport closure in most European countries has caused them to be stranded for at least four days!
I am not really sure what is the situation right now, just as the authorities are deciding to open up some air space, today another eruption occurred with massive new ash.

Subhanallah...
The weary travelers, whether on business or on vacation, all long to get home. It's not about the physical condition of our house, a home is where the heart is. Each time we went away, no matter how much we enjoy our journey, in the end we will miss our home.

We are all travelers in this world. Our journey begun in the soul realm, followed by the nine months in our mothers womb. Now we are here, in this physical and material world. One day without any warning, we would be taken to another world, six feet underground. That's when the waiting start, like stranded passengers we will be waiting and waiting.

One day we will be awaken from the grave, gathered together in the field of mahsyar. We will be kept waiting, until we are given the book of our deeds. The waiting continues until the time for the meticulous judgment. We will definitely be at His mercy. Facing Him alone with our limbs as witnesses but no defense lawyer.
Like a weary traveler, in the end hopefully we will reach our home, the place that we longed for. InsyaAllah.

We build beautiful houses here in this world, with gardens of flowers, fruits and flowing water features. Why? Because we longed to go home to that garden of paradise.
But do we deserve that place of absolute beauty and tranquility?
It all depends on our deeds now, in our short stint here.

We are travelers in this world, but we are not on vacation.

It Will End

2010-04-16T17:58:00.012+08:00

Today is especially mind blowing to me. What I thought could only happen to others, some unknown strangers out there, can actually happen to a dear friend. I pray that she will be strong in this trying time.
The ups and downs of life is a set of tests in this ephemeral world. Nothing last forever here, in this current world we are living.

There was a story about a wise man who helped a king. Despite his wealth and power the king failed to find peace in his heart. The wise man gave him a ring with an inscription that says, "This, too, will pass". He told the king, " Wear this ring always. Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, touch this ring and read the inscription. That way, you will always be at peace"

This, too, will pass. The phrase is a reminder of the temporary nature of our life. Whenever we are facing difficulties, always remember that it will end, sooner or later. No matter how tough the situation is, tell yourself, "This, too, will pass".
Yes, indeed it will. That's how everything has always been, isn't it?

When we are in a happy situation, always remember that it will end too. How do we find peace there? It is a reminder not to be too attached to the situation. It gives us the right perspective about life, that everything belongs to Allah. We have nothing in this world, don't attach our self to this world. It is a reminder for us not to fall for temporary happiness.

The real happiness, the real peace can only be found by sincerely accepting whatever tests, good or bad, that Allah has planned for us. He is Most Merciful, the All Knowing, everything that happens in this world is a manifestation of His wisdom and mercy.

(He) who created death and life to test you (as to) which of you is best in deed - and he is the Exalted in Might, The Forgiving. (Al-Mulk:2)

To my dear friend, be strong. It will end, InsyaAllah.
Our prayers are always there for you.

The Leader

2010-04-12T10:09:00.022+08:00

Three leaders in three different parts of the worlds.

After a month of protest, the red shirt protesters in Thailand continues to remain defiant with their demand for earlier election, they want a new Prime Minister.

In Kyrgyzstan, after the uprising that last for just a few days, the new interim government is now in predicament over refusal of the ousted president to resign. The president warned of a bloodshed.

Whereas Poland mourns the lost their president and other top civilian and military officials in a plane crash.

A lot of chaos is happening around the globe, but the events that happened in past few days in the three countries has brought me into deep contemplation.
While the people in Poland are grieving over the loss of their leaders, the people in Thailand and Kyrgyzstan struggled to remove theirs.

What makes a good leader?

Prophet Muhammad SAW, climbed the ladder of leadership with honour and dignity of the highest level. He lead his followers by first winning their hearts. He was very much loved and cherished by his followers because he was able to develop a strong sincere relationship with them.
Prophet Muhammad was also a person with integrity in his words and actions. A trusted person since his younger days who deserve the title of Al-amin, the trusted one.
A person who won the love and trust of others would automatically be followed. He was the teacher and motivator. He was able to create loyalty among the followers, they are willing to sacrifice their own life for him. And among the followers, he developed excellent potential successors. Good leader is ineffective without good followers.

Prophet Muhammad SAW was also a strong leader with tremendous self-discipline. When he was victorious in the conquest of Makkah, he exuded humbleness and self-restrain. Not a thing on earth can corrupt him. On his last days, he even surrendered his ailing body to his follower to take avenge for his wrongdoing.

Prophet Muhammad SAW showed us that a good leader must be loved and trustworthy in order to be followed. A leader must be able to train good followers so they can become good leaders in the future.

In the end, he became an eternal leader, a leader whose legacy remains until today, 1400 years after his death, and will continue until the hereafter.
Allaahumma solli 'ala Muhammad.

Anyone who aspire to be a leader must learn from him, the perfect model to look up to.

"Indeed in the Messenger of Allah, you have a fine example for he who hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah abundantly"
( Al-Ahzab:21)

Gardening Tills the Soul

2010-04-06T18:32:00.007+08:00

Most of the plants in my garden has been there for quite some time, like the rangoon creepers (right), kesidang (left) and the tiny pink rose (below).

The rose at my back yard has grown tall and flowering abundantly.
Subhanallah..
Such a pleasure to see the tiny bloom in bunches, and they smell so sweet.

The current weather with occasional heavy rain and hot sun is a perfect combination for roses, my favourite flower.
So, I decided to take a few days off from office to work on my garden.

It started with weeding and preparing the flower beds.
Then, a trip to the nursery to buy the plants including some new roses.
Experience taught me that yellow rose needs extra care compare to other type of roses, but I decided to try again this time.
I hope it will survive.

Gardening is a therapy for me. The beautiful plants reminded me of the place that I hope would be my permanent home, a blissful abode.
Prophet Adam lives in paradise before being sent down to earth, hence paradise is our home, the place that we should return to.

Looking at the garden send cheer to my heart, but sometimes it brought sadness too for I have not done enough to deserve a place in that eternal garden.
Forgive me, Ya Allah...

"Surely, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are signs for those with minds.

Those who remember Allah when standing, sitting, and on their sides, and contemplate upon the creation of the heavens and the earth (saying:) 'Lord, You have not created these in falsehood. Exaltations to You! Guard us against the punishment of the Fire.

Our Lord, whomsoever You admit into the Fire, You will have abased, and the harmdoers shall have no helpers.
Our Lord, we have heard the caller calling to belief, "Believe in your Lord!" So we believe.
Our Lord, forgive us our sins and acquit us of our evil deeds, and take us to You in death with the righteous.
Our Lord, give us what You promised us by Your Messengers, and do not abase us on the Day of Resurrection. You do not break Your promise. '
( Ali Imraan:190-194)

Let's Sing

2010-04-01T10:01:00.015+08:00

How does it feel when after a long battle with illness, your doctor exclaimed happily,

"You are okay now!.."
If your doctor is happy, how about you?

Feels like singing, right? I am now singing my praise to Allah, The Most Merciful.
Alhamdulillah...All praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds..
Thank you Allah.
Words fail to describe the joy that I am feeling.
I guess that's why we turn to singing.

I read in a book entitled, "Sacred Space, Sacred Sound" that says singing is a natural urge that human has when confronted by a certain condition and music reflects an essential human hunger for spiritual sustenance. I don't fully agree with the book and to some extent there's a lot of issues that I found to be too complicated to be digested, but somehow I agree that human has a natural tendency to sing.

Susan Hale, the writer, is not only a gifted music therapist and an enchanting singer, she is also an exquisite listener.

She traveled to many sacred sites and places of worship, such as churches, cathedral, monasteries, and caves, to experience the effect of singing in those places. She discovered that not only human, our surrounding, rocks especially, do sing. She was able to hear them.

I don't know what to make of this book, it left me bewildered.

However, it is true that our surrounding 'sing'. The whole world is singing in praise of Allah. The sun, moon, trees, flowers, animals, they are all in constant state of zikr, remembering Allah.

It's just that we are not capable of hearing them.

If happiness leads us to singing, the reverse is also true, singing can induce happiness inside.
As Muslim, the best form of singing is zikr. Reciting the Qur'an is one form of zikr.
Allah has promised us that we will find comfort in remembering Him.

"And the faithful ones whose heart are comforted by the remembrance of Allah, remembrance of Allah certainly brings comfort to all hearts"
( Ar Ra'ad:28)

Is there any troubled heart out there?
Let's sing in praise of Him.

All The Best

2010-03-25T22:16:00.002+08:00

Finally, went again to the office for the third time and mission accomplished! Alhamdulillah...

That was last week. This week I went again to the library to look for some more books and did some works. In the morning it was easy to find a suitable seat, but after lunch I was surprised to see the hustle and bustle there..then I realized..it's the final exam fever..
As one of the students there confessed, " It's the exam, madam...this only happen during the final exam week.."

It's a bit late, but I would like to wish 'All the best', to all my students there and those students following this blog..
Do the best that you can and leave the rest to Allah.
You can't bring your grade or GPA or CGPA to Him, it is your sincere and honest effort that counts.
Your true success depends on your effort, not your result.
Each time you open your books to read, start with His name, for you are following His command, His first command, "Iqra'...Read.."
He is Al Alim, The Knower of All, all knowledge belongs to Him, ask from Him, pray to Him..

May Allah make it easy for you.
All the best, everyone... :)

The Fight Continues..

2010-03-25T09:02:00.006+08:00

He (Satan) said: 'I swear by Your Might, that I will seduce all of them, except those among them who are Your sincere worshipers. '
(Saad: 82-83)

Satan sworn in the name of Allah, that he will continue to lure, coax, entice human into his doomed end. Satan lurks behind our wealth, our loved ones, our ambition. Satan disguises as friends, a caring and loving friend. Beautifying the journey to his way with enjoyment, fun...

Until one day, on the day that everything is clearly exposed, no more camouflage, no more pretension.
On that day Satan say, "You are on your own...I am not responsible for you.."

And when the issue has been decided,
Satan will say (to them):
'The promise which Allah made you was true. I promised you, but failed to keep it. I had no authority over you except that I called you, and you answered me.
Do not blame me, rather, blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I disbelieved in your associating me (with Allah) before. ' Indeed, for the evildoers there is a painful punishment.
(Ibrahim: 22)

Until that day, the fight continues...

Dear self,
Don't be deceived..

Ya Allah, Ya Rahmaan, Ya Rahiim,
Ya Muhaimin, The Protector
Ya Aziz, The Al Mighty, The Powerful
Ya Jabbar, The all Compelling
I beg You..
To help me..
To send me your angels
To guard my way
To expel my enemy
Amiin..Ya Rabbal Aalamiin.

A Quality Day

2010-03-13T17:00:00.013+08:00

It was another day in the campus again. And another failed attempt to settle the pending errand.
As I arrived at the office, I saw the sign "Office Closed", but I pushed the door anyway.
"Oh...it's Quality Day, we are closed..please come later this afternoon, but not sure if we can serve you, do call in first, ok?.."
"O...ok..thank you.."
I know, it's Quality Day, that's why I am here. I walked out slowly.

Well..at least this time I won't be wandering around since I ought to attend this official program. Besides, I have three other appointments, to meet three students, interestingly from three different programs, BAR, ENMS and Law, for three different reasons.

Met the first student. After having breakfast together, I walked with her to the building where Quality Day will be held. At the registration counter, I signed my name and was presented with a souvenir and a lunch coupon to be used here, at the campus for today or tomorrow, they reminded me.
" What about KLCC? Can I use this coupon there?....oo...cannot aa?...too bad.." I joked with them.

The souvenir was unique.
It was a copy of the Holy Qur'an(in Arabic, of course) with translation, also in Arabic!
One of my colleagues walked towards me with a somewhat mischievous smile while opening the pages of the Qur'an.
"Look..look at this..." she said.
"I know...it says here.. laa taqrobu..and the translation is, laa taqrobu..."
We laughed together at our minimal Arabic proficiencies. She was my room mate during our hajj few years back, where we had quite a bit of fun practicing our spoken Arabic.
I should have given the Qur'an to the student who was with me at that time. Why didn't I think of that...she is doing a degree in Arabic Literature. May be next time.

We continued our conversation while I waved my hand to some of the other colleagues who passed by. It was a good day, seeing many friends and colleagues whom I had not seen since the last Quality Day.
Under the palm tree, I took the opportunity to share with her about the continuous struggle that human had to endure in order to be on the right path. Physically young and beautiful, she would need a tremendous amount of spiritual strength to guard her soul from the deceiving whispers of our worst enemy. The enemy who took pride in his physical attribute that lead to his cursed destiny, and subsequently luring human to his trap through physical attraction.

He (satan) replied: 'I am better than he. You created me from fire, and You created him from clay.' (Saad:76)

Trying to find a more comfortable place, we walked to the library only to find that it was closed. Why? It's Quality Day..So we just stood there, outside.

By then I realized that she chose to remain quiet most of the time. I continued by reminding her that at her age, she is now at a critical juncture in character building process, and that she should pray for a trusted teacher to be the guiding hand. Her current world is surrounded by academics, lecturers, professors, but a true teacher, a 'murabbi' is granted only to those who sincerely seek and pray for one.

Soon afterwards, seeing other students came, she politely excused herself and left. She was never in any of my classes before but was somehow sent to me by Him. I was dragged into her personal life by some unexpected events and now I felt responsible to share with her what was part of the 'spiritual syllabus' that I had always incorporate in the lesson in my class. May Allah guide and protect her always.

While chatting with the other students, two more came. I recognized one of them immediately, he is already in the fourth year. The other one looked at me from afar while scratching his head and courteously asked,
"Do you know me, madam?"
I had to admit that I don't, but slowly his face turned familiar.
" You were cuter back then.." I blurted out, and he gave a sheepish smile.
He is also in the fourth year. I have to say that both of them looked more matured now with an aura of confidence on their faces. Alhamdulillah..They will be graduating soon and the challenges of the real world awaits. May Allah bless them with true success in their life.

The next appointment was a lunch date with a small group of ENMS and Law students. It was simply fun and joyous moment, eating while catching up with their latest grievance of having endless quizzes, assignments, exams etc etc. What else can we expect from a student's life? Been there, done that...

Going back to the library after lunch, we discovered that it was still closed, so I decided to leave and said my goodbyes to them. It is always a pleasure spending time with these cheerful students.
When I drove out of the campus I heard the azan for zuhr prayer from the university's mosque at the background.

I ended up not attending the program that I was there for in the first place, and I would have to come back for the unaccomplished mission, but it was nevertheless a quality day for me, in my own special way.

Alhamdulillah..
Thank you Allah for giving me the honour to be a teacher to these wonderful students.

Let's Have Mercy

2010-03-12T07:41:00.006+08:00

Bismillah, In the name of Allah
Ar Rahmaan, The All-Compassionate
Ar Rahiim, The All-Merciful

Alhamdulillahi rabbil aalamiin. All praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

It is indeed so soothing and comforting that of all the 99 beautiful names of Allah, He chose to introduce Himself as Ar Rahmaan, Ar Rahiim, as in the first chapter of the Qur'an, Al-Fatihah.
He is The lord of the heavens and the earth, The King of all kings, the All Powerful, The Greatest, The Magnificient, The Giver of Life, The Taker of Life... but He is The All-Merciful.

The creation of us, human, is a manifestation of His mercy. We reside in our mothers' womb, another symbol of mercy, for the mothers' womb is called 'rahim'.

Hence, a mother's love for a child, a love so pure and unconditional, is an extension of His love and mercy.
But, what makes a person a mother?
If having a child makes a mother, how could a mother have the heart to hurt their own child to death? Newly born babies left to die by their own mothers.. how could that happen?

And those who are not blessed with a child, are they 'unqualified' to be mothers? What about those who lost their child?

I believe it takes more than just having a child to be a mother. And having a child is a blessing and also a test. A mother does not own a child, it's not an ownership. A mother is trusted with a child. That child belongs to an owner. The Merciful owner.

It breaks my heart to read news, one after another, about babies being left by their mothers. Innocent children being abused by the very person who are suppose to protect them. The recent one is about a 3 year old Syafiah Humairah who died in the hands of her mother's boyfriend. Have they forgotten that The Merciful Owner is watching over them? The Merciful Owner would surely held them accountable.

However, I take consolation that even though the number is growing, these type of 'mothers' are still minorities. There are many mothers out there who continuously love and care for their children with immense patience. May Allah be pleased with them.

Ya Allah, Ya Rahmaan, Ya Rahiim..
I plead to you Ya Rahiim
To lend me Your Mercy

Whenever there's hatred
Let me bring the love
Whenever there's despair
Let me bring the hope

Whenever there's darkness
Let me bring the light
Whenever there's sadness
Let me bring the cheer

Allow me Ya Rahiim
To be your medium of mercy
For the day will come when I would be desperately
in need of yours..
For only through your mercy I would enter
The gate of your paradise

For it was your mercy
I was named after

Amiin..Ya Arhamarraahimiin..

The Dark History

2010-03-11T16:34:00.002+08:00

When your Lord said to the angels: 'I am creating a human from
clay, after I have shaped him and breathed of My spirit (I created) into
him, fall down prostrate before him. '

So all the angels prostrated themselves,
except iblis (satan, the father of the jinn), he became too proud,
for he was one of the unbelievers.

He (Allah) said: 'iblis, what prevented you from prostrating
yourself towards that which I have created with My Hands? Have you become
too proud, or are you among the grand? '
He (satan) replied: 'I am better than he. You created me from fire,
and You created him from clay. '

'Begone! ' said He, 'you are stoned'.
'My curse shall rest on you until the Day of Recompense. '

He (satan) replied: 'Respite me my Lord till the Day of Resurrection. '
He (Allah) said: 'You are among those that are respited, till the Day of the known time. '

He (satan) said: 'I swear by Your Might, that I will seduce all of them, except those among them who are Your sincere worshipers. '

He (Allah) said: 'This is the truth, and I speak the truth:
I shall certainly fill Gehenna(hell) with you and every one of them that
follows you. '

(Saad:71-85)

Matters of the Heart

2010-03-02T14:23:00.012+08:00

She sat next to me on my right. As the speaker continued his talk explaining about the reality of death, I noticed that she kept a serene look, a very peaceful one. Whereas I found myself to be holding back tears most of the time.

During a break, I finally had a chance to have a conversation with her.

" That was really touching, don't you think so?" I asked her, referring to the talk.
"Yes, death is very real indeed.." She said with a look that went far beyond the cold hall that we were sitting in.

" We must always be reminded about death, so that we will not lose our way here, right?"
" Yes, it's true..death will always keep your feet firm on the ground.. I deal with life and death everyday..."
No wonder she had that look and I couldn't help asking.

" If you don't mind me asking..what line of work are you in?"
" I am the head of nurse at the Intensive Care Unit of ** General Hospital"
That's the ICU of one of the busiest general hospitals in the country.

" MasyaAllah...you are being reminded everyday then.."
" Yes.....but I can't say that I got used to it because even though I see death many times, mine will happen only once.."

I agreed totally with her.
As we continued our conversation, I realized that she was a very humble person who took her job very seriously and I sensed her sincerity in performing her duty. It was a noble job, taking care of patients, and more so when they are seriously and critically-ill ones.
May Allah reward her for all her effort.

But the talk on that day was not about being in a noble profession. It was about remembering death, it's relation with sincerity and how do we practice it everyday in our profession, whatever it may be. Being in a so called noble profession does not guarantee any reward from Allah. It is not about what you do, but how you do it.

A person might be holding a highly respectable post with huge responsibility and decision making power but in the eyes of Allah all his effort is not even as significant as a speck of dust because he is arrogant. Another person working as a cleaner, humbly doing his job everyday as best as he could, but an enormous reward awaits him in the hereafter because Allah knows his sincerity.

It's all about our hearts again. Remembering death can keep our hearts alive, but it is not the physical hearts that we are referring to. There are many people out there whose physical heart is so healthy, efficiently pumping blood through out the body. But what we can't see is the spiritual hearts, the one that keeps our spiritual 'body' alive and healthy. It could be dying.

Death will always remind us of how temporary everything is, it will remind us that one day we would certainly, definitely return to Him. Remembering death will keep us in constant remembrance of Him.
The heart that remembers Allah will lead us to performing good deeds with sincerity.

One superb example of that is Abu Bakr. Among the companions of the Prophet SAW, he was highly exceptional in terms of doing rightous deeds and his love for Allah and the Prophet SAW is beyond question.

It was reported that Aishah, the daughter of Abu Bakr and the wife of the Prophet SAW said, "While Allah's Messenger was resting on a moonlit night, I asked, "O Messenger of Allah, has anyone done as many good deeds as there are stars in the sky?" he replied, "Yes, Umar has" I asked how about Abu Bakr's good deeds compared with his(Umar's) and he replied, "All of Umar's good deeds are like one of Abu Bakr's good deeds."
On another occasion, the Prophet SAW was reported to have said,
" Abu Bakr was not deemed your superior on account of much praying and sadaqah, but on account of something that was fixed in his heart"

Subhaanallah..

Love

2010-03-01T20:58:00.002+08:00

"Love is an attitude that leads to change in behaviour" - Gary Chapman.

Let's observe.
An ordinary person, living an ordinary life.
One day this person found him/herself to be madly and deeply in love.

Then..things start to change.

Smiling, happy most of the time
No anger, no hatred, no sadness
Happiness, sheer happiness

Suddenly, everything is easy, everything is beautiful

As the love grew deeper...more changes took place.

Loyal, extremely loyal to the loved one.
Overly protective of the loved one.
Everything reminded him/her to the loved one.
Obsessed with anything related to the loved one.
Willing to sacrifice anything, everything for the loved one.

Activities, thoughts, feeling, emotion, actions, laughter, tears, money, time....
All for the loved one.

Life is devoted to the loved one
Life is meaningless without the loved one

And ultimately..
Worshiping the loved one.

The question is..
Who would deserve such devotion, such sacrifice,
Loyalty, worship...from you?

Who? Who...

It's only HIM.
The Gracious Ar Rahmaan, The Merciful Ar Rahiim,
The Protector Al Muhaimin
The Source of Peace As Salam
The Forgiver Al Ghaffar
The Loving Al Wadud
The Patient One As Sabuur....

It's HIM
The One you longed for
The One you've been searching
The One you've been missing...all your life
The One True Eternal Love
Only HIM

Learn to love HIM
With all your heart, mind and soul..

He will never let you down.